Crumpled Home

(discussing nightmares over breakfast)

RJ: My dream was about robot emus. They were really scary because they could run faster than me.
Dad: Whoah. That sounds awful!
RJ: Yes. They had guns on them on too.
Dad: Did you have a way to stop them, or to get away?
RJ: I found out that when you put toothpaste in their eyes, it kills them.
Dad: So you killed them and escaped?
RJ: No! They came back to life! They turned into zombie robot emus!

(during breakfast)

RJ: Braaaaains…. Braaaains… I … need … brains…

Dad: Have you checked your sister? She might have some to spare.

RJ: (turning to LR) Braaaains?

LR: Sorry RJ. I need all my brains.

RJ: Braaaains…

Dad: How about the dog? Actually, forget that. She doesn’t have any brains.

LR: (protesting) Yes she does!!!

RJ: Braaaains…

Mum: Here you go RJ. Porridge for us, and a big fresh bowl of brains for you.

RJ: Thank you mummie zombie.

Mum: You’re welcome little zombie.

While Mum and the kids were off having a great time down south, I was left slaving away at the daily grind. One night, after picking up some dinner in one of my old haunts, I was surprised to find myself surrounded by hordes of undead. Looks like the neighbourhood has gone downhill since we used to live there.

The One that Isn't Ready Yet

The One that Needs a Hand

The One with a Musical Bent

The One that Needs a Hug

The One that I Saw

The One with a Famous Relative

(while watching a documentary on Antarctica)

(Fuzzy baby penguin comes on screen)

LR: Awww.. So cute!

Dad: Yeah, fuzzy.

Mum: Cute!

RJ: Cute baby penguin!

(Penguin mother taking care of baby)

LR: They’re really cute.

Dad: Yeah, they really are cute!

Mum: Awww…. cute.RJ: What a cute family.

(Penguin staggers to shore, covered in blood after being attacked by a leopard seal)

LR: The poor thing!

Mum & Dad: Awww… That poor little guy.

RJ: (yelling) ZOMBIE PENGUIN! IT’S A ZOMBIE PENGUIN!!! AAAAAA!!!!