(while eating dinner)
LR: Here’s a trick, RJ. What animal is pork made from?
RJ: Cows?
LR: No. Pigs!
Dad: How about this one? What animal is beef made from?
LR: Pigs?
Dad: No.
LR: Cows?
Dad: Yes!
Dad: One more… What is venison?
RJ: Lion food!
(on the way to school)
Dad: You’re brining your ammonite fossil?
RJ: Yeah. I want to show it for news.
Dad: Be extra super careful with it… Most kids don’t get to bring ammonites to school. Know why?
RJ: Because they’re really hard to find?
Dad: Yep… but mostly because their parents know they are going to drop them.
RJ: I think there’s a rule. You can drop them one time, and that’s okay, but drop them two times and you’re out. No more fossils for you.
(while getting ready for school)
RJ: … But I need to wear all grey!
Mum: You can wear your grey tracky pants and a grey t-shirt.
RJ: That’s GRAAAAAY-TE! (runs off amidst a gale of giggling)
(while attempting to cut nails)
Dad: That’s your hands… Time for your toenails.
RJ: (curls into a ball) I have no feet or hands. I am a boulder!
Dad: … Uhhh… Okay… Then how did you get here?
RJ: In a paper bag — a party bag. Someone left me here.
(while eating dinner)
Dad: I love that song. Maybe I could learn to play it on the piano!
LR: Or on the guitar!
RJ: Or on the ukelele!
LR: Or on the flute!
RJ: Or on the computer!
LR: Or on the drums!
RJ: Or on a violin, but the bow is made from lots of spider webs that are stretched very long on a stick… But you would have to play it very carefully.
(while eating dinner)
RJ: I’d like to thank somebody tonight. I’d like to thank the Romans… for inventing toilets.
RJ: THANK YOU ROMANS!
(LR, Mum and Dad): Thank you Romans!
Dad: They invented plumbing and running water in houses too.
… a few moments later …
RJ: I’d like to thank somebody tonight. I’d like to thank the Romans again… for inventing running water!
RJ: THANK YOU ROMANS!
LR, Mum and Dad: (groaning) Thank you Romans!
… a few minutes later …
RJ: I’d like to thank somebody else tonight. I’d like to thank the Egyptians! For inventing paper!
(LR, Mum and Dad): ARRGGGHH!!
(while eating breakfast)
RJ: Scarlet’s feet are clicking… Click click click.
Dad: Is that a problem?
RJ: Yes. It reminds me of giant spiders walking around the house… Giant spiders that eat people.
Dad: Maybe we could train one. We could have it as a pet!
RJ: No. That’s not a good idea.
Dad: Why not?
RJ: Because Grammy doesn’t mind little spiders, but she would be scared of a giant spider and she would freak out.
Dad: Fair enough. Can’t say I’d blame her.
(Working on a project on Snow Leopards in the Himalayas)
Mom: The Himalayas are really craggy and sharp looking because they’re young mountains.
Lorian: How old are they?
Mom: Well, they happened when India crashed into Asia. That started happening about 50 million years ago and it’s still happening. The mountains are still growing.
Lorian: 50 million years? So was that in the 1960′s?
(while eating dinner)
RJ: I don’t like the vegetables, but I will eat ALL my rice.
LR: Rice is a vegetable, RJ!
RJ: No it’s not. It’s a grain. It’s a seed!
(while eating dinner)
LR: (singing) We all live in a yellow submarine!
RJ: I know that song! I love that song!
LR and RJ: (joyously singing together) We all live in a yellow submarine!
RJ: (after the cacaphony quiets down) When I was a little kid (in Malaysia), we used to sing that song all the time… But it was a bit different. It was about a blue submarine.
