Once again, LR’s and RJ’s school put on its huge biennial musical performance. All the kids at the school have a part, with each grade getting its own big musical piece to perform. This year’s performance was Jack and the Beat-stalk, another original written by the school principal, filled with only-slightly-mangled songs by the Beatles.
LR and the Go-Go Girls strut their stuff across the stage.
(Before school)
Mom: What are you taking in for news today, RJ?
RJ: Can I bring the bow that I made?
Mom: That’s a good idea.
(Later, while walking to school)
RJ: Mom, there’s a rule that says you can’t bring weapons to school.
Mom: (pauses) So do you really think bringing your bow to school was a good idea?
RJ: No… But can we see what my teacher says?
Mom: Okay. We’ll see.
(A few minutes later)
Claire: No, RJ. I don’t think that’s a good idea.
RJ: (getting angry) But!!!
Claire: We have a rule about weapons at school… But you have done such good work on this, let’s take a photo of you with it and then send it home with Mom.
RJ: *explodes*
(Moments later, RJ is outside talking to Mom.)
Mom: You knew the rule, RJ.
RJ: But I made it and I only want to show it for news!
Mom: They can’t have kids bringing weapons to class. It’s not safe.
RJ: (exasperated) But… but… It’s only half a weapon! You can’t even use it without arrows!
Mom: …
Mom: (relenting) You do have a point… You can ask Claire one last time.
(A few minutes later, RJ is happily playing with his friends. The bow sits on the news table waiting for its moment in the spotlight.)
Claire: It looks like we’ve got a little lawyer on our hands.
Mom: (sighing) I know. Do you know anyone who needs a criminal defense lawyer? They can have him for cheap… free even.
(before school)
Dad: RJ, what’s this word here?
RJ: Uhhhmmmm… Can Scorpy have a try?
Dad: I didn’t know scorpions could read, but okay. Go ahead Scorpy.
RJ: (holding toy scorpion to the screen) L… E… E… P… S… Leeps!
Dad: Scorpy… I think you’re reading it backwards.
RJ: Yes! Bad Scorpy! You got it all wrong!
(10 minutes later)
RJ: Now Scorpy, I’ve tied this string on you until you learn to read properly. No more backwards reading!
… and when I get home from school, I’m going to put you in a cup of water with crystals dissolved in it… and then you will be trapped in a crystal forever. Is that what you want?
LR stirs the sauce and takes a look to make sure it's simmering nicely.
A couple of weeks ago, LR’s teacher gave the class an assignment. Cook some food and document the procedure, including ingredients and all the steps required to make it. LR took this on board, and then (in her usual manner) decided to kick it up a notch — she’d invite her teacher over for dinner to eat it with us!
This year, just like last year, many of the parents and teachers from the kids’ school head over to Rottnest Island for their school camp. There are various gatherings and get togethers for the kids and parents — it’s generally just a great chance to relax and catch up with everybody. The major events are the Students versus Parents Games, a sandcastle competition, and the “Fox Hunt” — a treasure hunt in and around the main settlement to find teachers (and some parents) dressed up in crazy outfits. This year the theme was fairy tale characters. Mom always gets roped into this.
RJ watches for dolphins on the fast ferry across to Rotto. LR was the first to spot them though!
(while eating lunch)
Teacher: Hi RJ! We’re going to be talking about paint today and where it comes from. Do you have any ideas on how to make paint?
RJ: (nonchalantly) Oh yeah. You just need some eye dust and then some blood and then you mix it together and put it all over your hands and you can make handprints.
Teacher: So what colour would that paint be?
RJ: Red… Dark red.
Teacher: That’s a pretty good idea. What about if you wanted some other colour though?
RJ: (thinking) Hmm…
RJ: You just need different coloured eye dust!
Teacher: But where do you get coloured eye dust from?
RJ: Easy! From eyeballs… from dead people!
For the past several days, we’ve had a run of warm humid weather (35C / 95F), and the forecast looks like there’s no change for the 7 days ahead. Here’s hoping that a few pics of the kids in the pool might help cool us down.
To add to her busy after-school schedule, LR has taken up diving and is loving it. The combination of gymnastics and swimming seems to be a perfect match!
RJ is as much of a fish as his sister and has been working hard at swimming lessons on the weekends. His biggest problem is actually spending time near the surface — he’s much happier diving for toys and other objects off the bottom.
LR listens to her coach and prepares to dive.
(RJ has to introduce himself and a hobby at school today, he has decided to bring in his collection of ‘dead things’)
RJ: (pointing to dead bobtail lizard in tightly sealed plastic container) I still remember how bad he stinks. Yuck!
Dad: Really? You opened him up to take a sniff?
RJ: No! Not me… It was my teacher.
Dad: Why did she open it?
RJ: (grinning) I tricked her. I told her he wasn’t smelly at all.
Dad: I hope she learned her lesson!
(RJ is sitting next to his 5 month old cousin at the dinner table)
RJ: (holds up a grape) Now this. This is an olive. It’s delicious.
Vi: (flaps arms, yells)
RJ: And these are veggies. They are very bad for you.
Vi: (shrieks of joy)
RJ: Lollies are great though. Definitely eat lollies.
Vi: (loving the attention)
RJ: … and you can always eat rubbish.
RJ: (turns to everyone else at the table) I’m the worst teacher ever!
