Crumpled Home

(reading before school)

RJ: So… Why are they called hedgehogs anyway?

Dad: Well, there used to be lots of different sorts… Hedgehogs, bushhogs, treehogs, sandhogs… You get the idea. But they all went extinct.

RJ: DAD!

…

RJ: (reading) “… Some hedgehogs live in the dessert…”

Dad: Careful. It’s DESERT with one ‘S’. You know, the dry place with lots of sand.

RJ: (deliberately ignores Dad and continues) “…There are people who lick hedgehogs and leave food for them at night…”

Dad: RJ, It’s LIKE, not LICK. You know that one.

RJ: But if they live in the dessert, they must be pretty tasty. I would lick them too.

(while writing a letter to a friend)

RJ: Dear… Lewis… I… hop…   Dad, how do you spell ‘hope’?

Dad: H… O… P… E… You have to have the silent ‘e’ on the end, or you get ‘hop’.

RJ: Ahhh… Silent ‘e’… You’re always sneaking in there… My ultimate enemy…

(LR is enjoying her recent move to the top spelling group in her class)

LR: I’m a really good speller… I can spell any word…

LR: … Except concentration.

(before school)

Dad: RJ, what’s this word here?

RJ: Uhhhmmmm… Can Scorpy have a try?

Dad: I didn’t know scorpions could read, but okay. Go ahead Scorpy.

RJ: (holding toy scorpion to the screen) L… E… E… P… S… Leeps!

Dad: Scorpy… I think you’re reading it backwards.

RJ: Yes! Bad Scorpy! You got it all wrong!

(10 minutes later)

RJ: Now Scorpy, I’ve tied this string on you until you learn to read properly. No more backwards reading!
… and when I get home from school, I’m going to put you in a cup of water with crystals dissolved in it… and then you will be trapped in a crystal forever. Is that what you want?

(while eating dinner)

RJ: Daa-aad. Can I tell you something?

Dad: Sure mate. What is it?

RJ: Do you know Mister Sippy?

Dad: Uhhh… No?

RJ: It’s very far away. It’s a huge river.

Mum: That’s Mississippi, RJ. It’s in America.

Dad: Mrs. Sippy is Mr. Sippy’s wife.

LR: M… I… S S I… S S I… P P I… S S I…

Dad: No… She was someone else all together.

(after school)

Dad: Hey LR! How’d your spelling test go?

LR: Ummm…

Dad: All wrong…?

LR: Nope! All right, but there was a problem.

Dad: Yeah?

LR: Jenny forgot to do two of the words, ‘right’ and ‘high’.

(and she probably did them in the wrong order too)

(LR has weekly spelling tests, so we review the words a couple of times during the week at home.)

Dad: Okay. Time for spelling practice… First word, ‘Sight’.

LR: That’s not right dad. That’s the second last word.

Dad: I know. I’m doing them out of order so it’s more difficult.

LR: (sighing) Okay. How about we start at the end and go backwards?

Dad: I guess that’ll work… ‘Right’.

LR: Done.

Dad: ‘Sight.’

LR: (writing furiously) Yes, yes. Then ‘might’.

Dad: ‘Few’

LR: (angrily) Dad stop giving me the answers! It’s cheating if you tell me the words!

LR: (returns to writing) … ‘Four’.. ‘Where’… ‘Year’… ‘Know’… That’s it!

Dad: Yep, perfect.

(She had spelled everything correctly, in exact reverse order from the original list, completely from memory.)