Crumpled Home

(Everyone in the family has the flu and no one is sleeping well.)

RJ: (whispering) The clock… It says it’s after 4 now… It says, “Four, two, seven.” … Can we get up now?

Dad: RJ! How many times do I have to tell you? You have to wait until the clock says six… Maybe five, but four is WAY too early. Lay there and try to get back to sleep. Make up stories or something.

RJ: O-kay…

(A few minutes pass, then Dad feels something crawl across his back… RJ’s voice quietly drifts across the bed…)

Pirate Patchy: Hi there Mr Ghost Light. How are you today?

Mr Ghost Light: Not good Patchy. It’s a bad day today.

Pirate Patchy: Why’s that Ghosty?

Mr Ghost Light: Today is the day that all the lights die.

Pirate Patchy: Oh no! That’s terrible!

Mr Ghost Light: I know, but it just has to happen. Oh no! It’s going to happen now! Five, four, three, two, one… *click*

(RJ switches off his nightlight.)

Pirate Patchy: No! Mr Ghost Light! Noooo! Waaaaahhhhhh… (crying noises) This is… the worst day… ever…

June flew past in a hurry. The kids put together an impromptu magic show one morning, and LR played piano for a huge crowd. RJ flew and continued to be full of surprises. We spent an evening outside taking German lessons in the dark, and the kids channelled their inner zombies while discovering where all their good ideas come from.

RJ took flying lessons at one of his friend's birthday parties. That trampoline practice came in handy!

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(quietly muttering to himself as he falls to sleep during a rainstorm)

RJ: All those oats… Falling, falling down… burning oats falling down.

RJ: The gods are angry and they’ve opened the oats and now they throw them down…

RJ: Tomorrow, its going to be a big mess… Oatmeal everywhere.

(early morning)

RJ: (whispering) LR… LR, wake up…. LR… Wake up, LR…

LR: What, RJ? What is it?

RJ: I put Mozy in my place next to Dad, where I was. Then I got out of bed.

LR: Shhhh… Good idea!

(a minute later)

Dad: (Yawning and stretching) Good morning, RJ!

(giggling from beside the bed)

Dad: Time to get up. Don’t lay around in bed all day.

(louder giggles)

Dad: It’s a school day today. Better get dressed!

(more giggles)

Dad: Wow, RJ, you’re feeling very fluffy this morning. Your entire face is fuzzy! I think it’s about time you started shaving.

(fits of laughter)

(later, while eating breakfast)

Dad: Come on RJ, eat up a bit faster please.

RJ: Mrrmmmummm mmmm.. Rrrrrmmmmummm oommmmmm…

Dad: I don’t speak mosasaur, RJ. You’ll have to translate.

RJ: Mrrrroomummmmoom… Only spinach… Roommmummmrmmm…

Dad: But I thought mosasaurs were carnivores… They ate fish and things like that…

RJ: Rooomummm… Not today… Mrrrrrmmmmm… On a diet….

(phone rings, it’s T, one of LR’s friends from school)

T: I’m going to go to the movies with LR.

Dad: She and her mum aren’t here right now. Do you know which movie you’re going to see?

T: Yes. Coraline in 3D, but you can’t come.

Dad: Not fair T. You’re always so mean to me!

T: (laughs)

T: We’re trying to pick a good time to go.

Dad: Okay. I’ll tell LR and her mum when they get home.

T: Okay. (pauses)

T: I think maybe we shouldn’t go right now though. My mum is asleep.