Crumpled Home

(Moments after jumping out of the shower, a bare RJ starts dancing around crazily, with a huge white towel hanging out of his mouth down to the floor. He is making bizarre wheezing noises as he leaps about and drops of water are flying everywhere.)

RJ: (muffled) Hey guys! (dance, dance, wheeze, wheeze) Guess who I am!?

Dad: (shielding himself from the water flying everywhere) Uhhh…

RJ: (wiggle, leap, wheeze, wheeze) Guess!

Dad: Umm… RJ, I have honestly no idea.

RJ: (wheeze, rasp) I’m an old water spirit! Do you like my beard?

(when about to get RJ out of the shower)

RJ: (carefully adjusting something on the shower drain) Careful daddy.

Dad: Why?

RJ: I’m making a trap.

Dad: A trap? For who?

RJ: The animals. It’s going to catch all the animals.

Dad: I didn’t realise there was such a wildlife problem in here.

RJ: Yes. This will stop the cats and the turtles.

Dad: That’s a relief. They’ve been keeping me up at night.

RJ: (looking annoyed) Don’t be silly. This is serious!