(RJ’s favorite line at the moment. He repeats it often using one of his weird voices and thinks it’s hilarious. Another RJ original.)
RJ: Move you big goose, or I’ll swallow you whole… There’s just not enough room in this town!
Another crazy month went by! This time around, Mom and LR got a thousand and one things done before they left for the USA, leaving Dad and RJ behind to survive on a steady diet of buttered toast and cereal. The cousins came over from Melbourne, and Grammy’s house STILL isn’t finished! Finally, RJ entertained an entire school with his own special moves during his class concert.
RJ's friend C visited for a sleepover. The next morning, the two of them insisted on pancakes, the internationally recognised breakfast of bloodthirsty pirates and fierce centurions.
(LR is enjoying her recent move to the top spelling group in her class)
LR: I’m a really good speller… I can spell any word…
LR: … Except concentration.
(while eating breakfast)
RJ: I’ve figured it out, Dad.
Dad: What’s that?
RJ: A rat trap! We just need an apple and a large glass pot. We put it outside and when we see the rat go in, we put some paper over the top and he wont be able to get out! They don’t have hands!
Dad: Great idea, but why on Earth do we want to catch a rat?
RJ: Because Mom hates them… and…
Dad: And what?
RJ: My friend L. at school wants one… He really liked my baby rat in a jar.*
Dad: He wants a rat in a jar, too?
RJ: Yeah, but it’s okay. I’ll sell it to him, and maybe I can sell them to other people, too!
** A few weeks ago, RJ found a dead baby rat outside — probably one of Violet Miaowmix’s recent victims. It now sits in a place of honour on the shelf in his room, preserved in a (VERY WELL SEALED) jar full of alcohol.
While we were away for half of July (pictures coming soon, promise!), we were just as busy through the rest of it. American Independence Day rolled around and we invited the family over for hamburgers and sparklers. Dad got to stand outside and grill the burgers in the cold, rainy winter weather and ponder how to get some ‘real’ fireworks into the country. There was a disco for the end of the term at school — apparently costumes were NOT optional. Finally, Dad and RJ rocked out at the AC-DC exhibition at the WA Museum.
Grammy gets some sparklers lit while RJ... Hang on a minute! HEY RJ! STOP TRYING TO SET THE LAWN ON FIRE!
Not being a particularly tall family, we weren’t really surprised to end up with short kids. It does have some benefits for us: almost every house has really high ceilings, there are many more surfaces that don’t require dusting and the legroom provided on most airline seats is just extravagant.
We generally forget about it until there’s one of those rare school events when it makes a difference. This was one of those.
Of all the work our kids have brought home from school, this struck me as the most tragic.
With answers like this, I guess there’s no need to write your name. The good news is that he doesn’t mind too much; it’s just the way things are.
(Note to others, if you’re looking for the best hiding spot in our house try on top of the fridge — it’s like another planet up there.)
(before school)
Dad: RJ, what’s this word here?
RJ: Uhhhmmmm… Can Scorpy have a try?
Dad: I didn’t know scorpions could read, but okay. Go ahead Scorpy.
RJ: (holding toy scorpion to the screen) L… E… E… P… S… Leeps!
Dad: Scorpy… I think you’re reading it backwards.
RJ: Yes! Bad Scorpy! You got it all wrong!
(10 minutes later)
RJ: Now Scorpy, I’ve tied this string on you until you learn to read properly. No more backwards reading!
… and when I get home from school, I’m going to put you in a cup of water with crystals dissolved in it… and then you will be trapped in a crystal forever. Is that what you want?
(while packing lunches for school)
Dad: So RJ, what do you want for lunch?
RJ: Hmmm… How about… chip?
Dad: No chips, something else?
RJ: Just grab a potato, then you slice it nice and thin…
Dad: (pointing to loaf of sliced bread) How about this instead?
Now in front of me is a very rare Brazilian Potato. I carefully open the wrapping, and then large chips just peel away. Amazing stuff! Greatest invention since…RJ: (sternly) That’s not a Brazilian potato. That’s impossible.
Dad: What do you mean?
RJ: Don’t you remember the song? The Brazil song?
RJ: (singing) No tea…. Or tomato juice…
You’ll see… No potato juice…RJ: No potato juice means no potatoes. Sorry.
Dad: You’re right… My mistake — wrong South American country. Now in front of me is a very rare Bolivian Potato…
LR stirs the sauce and takes a look to make sure it's simmering nicely.
A couple of weeks ago, LR’s teacher gave the class an assignment. Cook some food and document the procedure, including ingredients and all the steps required to make it. LR took this on board, and then (in her usual manner) decided to kick it up a notch — she’d invite her teacher over for dinner to eat it with us!
LR: Do you have one of those science jars? The ones that you put stuff in?
Dad: I don’t, but I think Mom does — or at least she can get them from work if you ask. What do you need it for?
LR: I have a project for school and I need to bring in a sample of water.
Dad: Fair enough. Just ask Mom, she can get them for you. I can help you collect different kinds of water if you want.
(a couple of days later)
LR: Mom, I need to bring some sea water to school for a project.
Mom: What project?
LR: I have to bring in something that demonstrates the words, “I belong…”
Mom: And you’re bringing in sea water? Why is that?
LR: Because I feel like I belong overseas.
(Mom has a mild panic attack. LR doesn’t feel Australian? She doesn’t feel like she belongs? She feels like there’s no place for her here?)
Mom: What do you mean by belonging overseas?
LR: Well, I love adventures and I love travelling. I want to see new places and explore the world!
Mom: (Massive relief) What a great idea!
