Crumpled Home

(at the dinner table)

Dad: So what happened at your school today, RJ?

RJ: I took my whip scorpion into school and showed it to everybody.

Dad: Great! Did you teach the class all about them?

RJ: Yep! But it was terrible. No one asked any questions! … except for Harry.

Dad: What did he ask?

RJ: He asked if whip scorpions lived in England and I told him, “NO! They only live in Perth. There are lots of them and live in the roof of your house.”

We’re expecting the phone calls from the other parents to start any day now…

Your child is having nightmares about giant insects living in your roof?

What a surprise!”

RJ: Mummy, can I tell you something?

Mum: Sure, RJ. What is it?

RJ: (worried) When I grow up, promise that I can go and live at Grammy’s house, with Grammy.

Mum: No, RJ. When you grow up, you’ll probably have to live in your own house.

RJ: But I can’t build a house! I don’t know how!

Mum: You don’t have to build it yourself, you pay someone else to build it for you.

RJ: But I don’t have a wallet with any money in it!

Mum: You’ll have to get a job, so you can earn some money.

RJ: But I can’t do anything!!!

Mum: That’s why you go to school, to learn that stuff.

RJ: But they don’t teach us about jobs there!!!

LR’s school put on its huge biennial musical performance. All the kids at the school have a part, with each grade getting its own big musical piece to perform. The plays are written by the school principal and are an enless run of weak jokes and bad puns — fantastic stuff! LR’s scene revolved around King Halfur and the Knights of the Times Tables.

LR poses in costume before her big show.

The stage fills with the main cast and the entire first grade for the 'Knights of the Times Tables' scene.

LR and the maidens curtsey, and the knights thrust swords into the air as they sing their big musical number.

LR watches as King Halfer tries to solve some problems with his knights.

LR pairs off with A for the dance.

(after school)

Dad: Hey LR! How’d your spelling test go?

LR: Ummm…

Dad: All wrong…?

LR: Nope! All right, but there was a problem.

Dad: Yeah?

LR: Jenny forgot to do two of the words, ‘right’ and ‘high’.

(and she probably did them in the wrong order too)

LR head off to her first school camp yesterday. A lot of other kids have their parents coming along, but LR insisted that we were absolutely not welcome and should stay at home. Sunday afternoon was spent packing and getting everything ready. As usual, we’re way more worried about this than she is, but we’re trying to be brave.

(while dropping her off at school)

Mum: Okay LR, it’s time for me to go.

LR: Okay mum! I’m going to have a great adventure now. See you! (waves goodbye and runs off)

Mum and LR get all her things sorted for camp.

More after the link.

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(There’s been lots of excitement preparing for our yearly Halloween party!)

LR: (wearing plastic vampire teeth) Bewaaaare… Bewaaaare… I’m a vaaaampiiiire.

RJ: (also wearing plastic vampire teeth) Woooh-wooooooh… I have some plastic teeth too…

RJ: I call them “teeth complainers”.

Dad: Why is that RJ?

RJ: Because they make people complain about your teeth.

(before school)

Mum: RJ! You can’t take your teeth complainers to school.

RJ: (very upset) But I love them!

Mum: You can’t. They’ll scare all the little kids.

RJ: (yelling) But they’re good for you! They keep your teeth protected!

LR had a big presentation in front of the whole school last Friday, reciting a poem that she wrote (from memory). She dressed up in her swimming gear; quite tough considering that Winter has only just finished. Thanks to one of the other parents for getting pictures for us!

The Waterslide

by LR

I like going down the waterslide.
It is swirling and swishing.
Wow! It looks fast!
Down, down we go.
WHEEEEE!

The Year 1 class on stage.

LR recites her Waterslide poem for the whole school.

(Dictated by LR on the way to school)

Dear Ms. Frizzle,

We are sorry to tell you this but we had to take away the magic school bus. You can have it back now but there is no magic left in it. The parents didn’t like all the magic things that you were doing, and they don’t believe in magic, so now it is gone.

We are very sorry.

LR (for school administration)

Some recent artwork by LR. The first was for a school assignment about fairy tales.

The second was for a science competition that she wanted to enter. The small text captions in the image are science facts that she came up with to describe the things in her picture. You can find out more about the artist who’s part of the Helix competition here.

"I like the ending. She has a boy and a girl but the prince has not found her yet."

... Most of the universe is empty space ...