Crumpled Home

(while walking to lunch)

RJ: (excited) Dad. Stop here! I want to show you something!

Dad: Yeah? What’s up?

RJ: (pointing to ground) Right here. See? This metal plate. It’s a lid to something; you can open it!

Dad: Sure. I guess you could… but…

RJ: (starts struggling to lift heavy plate steel cover) Look! There are no nails or anything holding it down, you can just…

Dad: (worried about RJ’s fingers being crushed) Stop, RJ! Wait! Wait!… Arrgh… Okay, let me help.

(Dad decides it’s easier to help RJ lift the cover safely than to talk him out of it… revealing a dark hole filled with a crawling mass of hundreds of cockroaches and crickets, who decide to make a break for it out of the hole.)

RJ & Dad: ………. Yeeeaaarrrckk! …………..

(RJ wisely jumps back. Dad is left to slowly and carefully replace the heavy steel cover, while dodging the rush of panicked roaches that have decided his shoes would make a terrific new hiding place).

RJ: (freaking out) Dad! Who are we going to tell about this? What can we do?

Dad: What do you mean? It’s their home. They obviously love it there. We can just leave them alone.

RJ: (incredulous) Are you crazy, man?! They’ll keep growing in there and growing and growing! They’ll take over the whole city! All the shops! Everything!

Dad: RJ, calm down! Have a look over there — there’s another hole. I think I see one over there too and another over there. They’re all probably full of these guys, and they’ve been like this for ages.

RJ: This is a really big deal! I can’t believe you’re not doing anything!

Dad: It’s fine, mate. Really.

RJ: It is NOT fine! My favorite restaurant is right across the road!

Roachy was looking very feeble that morning; on his back, legs stuck in the air, barely moving at all. RJ spent some time finding the right kind of tree bark “medicine” and carefully placing it next to Roachy. The rest of us had pretty much given up hope. Roachy was well on his way to becoming an ex-cockroach.

The next morning over breakfast, we held our breath as RJ carefully looked into the box.  To our dismay surprise, we found Roachy happily perched on his piece of bark, antennae waving jauntily in greeting.

“He’s all better! He’ll need some food!” cried RJ.

After a healthy breakfast of lettuce, tomato and mushroom, Roachy was looking terrific. RJ declared him healed and we sent the two of them off together to school.

The teachers must be getting really, really sick of our ‘pets’.

Today we learn that roaches are TOUGH... After the apocalypse the only things that will survive... Cochroaches... Twinkies... and the remains of things held together with duct tape.