Crumpled Home

Read on to find out about our exciting adventures with dangerous oversized animals at the Ulun Danu Beratan Temple at Lake Beratan. We get drenched by a massive tropical thunderstorm, and are amused/delighted/revolted by some hot beverages. Finally we end up having a meal at a great little place on the coast.

Mom leads the kids off to the Ulun Danu Beratan Temple!

Found it!

But it's guarded by lions... hungry lions... Careful M!

Look out, LR!

We'll ride the magic giant fish off to safety!

The sign said, "Beware of Giant Eagles", but did they listen? Oh nooooooo.... "No giant eagles around here," they said. Here's your freaken giant eagle, buddy.

"Spin us, Uncle Paul! As fast as you can!!!" ... The kids learned a valuable lesson that day.

Mom and P take M and RJ on a WILD ride on the swing.

On the way back down the mountain, we ran into our first tropical thunderstorm.

Rice paddies and farms on the side of the mountain.

On the way back to the villa, we stopped by this nice little coffee shack and tried their various coffees and teas, as well as the infamous, "Poo Coffee."

Poppa is awfully suspicious. In the background, you can see a big poster describing the process of feeding coffee berries to the lewaks, collecting their valuable coffee-bean-caffinated turds, and the washing that takes place before roasting and grinding the beans. They did mention washing the beans, didn't they? Lots and lots of washing?

No RJ! Don't eat that bit!!! Ha ha... Actually, the hot chocolate made from their own cocao beans was really fantastic.

Mom refused to try the crappy coffee, but did give the lemon tea a go... and it was actually great stuff. The kids loved it too.

After a long day, we went to the Potato Head Club to relax and have a great dinner. The place was extravagant, decadent and completely over the top... and we loved it. Aunty Bron, Uncle Troy and Poppa enjoy a drink while trying to get Shazam working on their phones.

Aunty Carrie, Grammy and Uncle Paul sit down for a cup of tea... Hang on a second, that's not tea in that pot!

Mom watched whle the kids had a brilliant time swimming and jumping around in the pool.

We even enjoyed a tiny, 2 minute sunset. There was so much cloud that the sky didn't really light up.

The kids kept swimming and playing into the night while our dinner was prepared.

Sophie checks out the menu... Yep, just about everything on there looks delicious.

Uncle Paul waits for Auntie Carrie at the bar... The place felt like a scene from a movie.

After dinner, LR and the other kids danced on the grass to the loud, thumping music, while Dad cheered them on.

PA. prepares to launch her sky-shooting glowie -- a tiny light on a pair of wings.

March came to a close and it was a big month for the kids. LR competed in a diving competition, where she was the youngest, as well as the only kid representing her school. RJ also stepped into his first trampolining competition and took third place! Congratulations kids! We also had a few dinners at the beach and the river in the evening, and spent lots more time outside enjoying the cooler weather.

… and Mom looked ridiculous.

LR steps up as her name and school are read out.

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(while playing)

RJ: Look at this, Dad. I’ve got a great invention!

Dad: What is it?

RJ: It’s a ‘Head Box’. Guess what’s inside!

Dad: (feigning confusion) Umm… No idea.

RJ: (opens door and a head falls out) It’s got a head in it!

Dad: Yikes! What’s it for?

RJ: It’s great for when you need to get your heads delivered, but this one has a problem. It’s evil!

Dad: What do you mean?

RJ: Anyone who touches the head turns into someone else!

Dad: Whoah, that’s serious! … So what does a head box do if it doesn’t have the evil problem?

RJ: Well, then it’s just a bone box. You know, for delivering normal bones and stuff.

(while eating breakfast… LR is playing computer chess, while RJ sings us some of his original hits)

RJ: (singing)
The worst germ,
That you can have,
Gives you a kind of vomit.
And diarrhoea, that is so bad,
That you can’t ever drink enough water.
And… So… You… Die…

LR: Good one RJ!

Dad: Yeah. Did you learn that one at school?

RJ: Nah. I just made it up now. That’s my cholera song.

We woke up the other day and found RJ had been busy again…

He came running into the room yelling in his ‘stranger’ voice:

“Hey hey! Anyone around here wanna buy some of my bananas? I’m the banana man! If you want some bananas, you’d better come and see me!”

Needless to say, I bought a couple.

"Hey hey! Anyone around here want to buy some bananas?" - RJ as the random banana salesman.

Perhaps one day we’ll figure out where he gets his ideas from and it’ll all make sense.

For most of the month of March, a massively diverse array of sculptures are set up on one of the beaches near our house. We go almost every year!

The kids had several trips down there, one with school and a couple with the family. It’s fun seeing some of the the bizarre creations that have been put up.

LR and RJ explore the two sides of a giant steel structure... vaguely reminiscent of a steam engine.

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RJ worked away on this temple for quite a while. He left it on the kitchen counter to make sure everyone got to see it. The creatures and monsters on top are actually sacrifices made by the acolytes to their mighty overlord and leader.

RJ built a bizarre temple where the smaller toys go to visit their mighty leader and make offerings.

I hear a lot of parents wondering if watching television is warping their kids in terrible ways. Our kids don’t get to watch much television, and RJ is a perfect example of why my answer to them is no, probably not.

(while eating breakfast)

RJ: (excited) I have an idea for the museum!

Dad: What’s that?

RJ: We need to get some human bones. We definitely need a skull.

Dad: That’s a great idea, but human bones are pretty hard to find.

RJ: But I have an idea for that. We just have to go to the cemetary and take off one of the big stones…

Dad: A gravestone?

RJ: Yes, and then we dig a big hole, open up the coffin, and take the bones out! Easy!

Dad: There’s a problem with that. It’s called grave robbing and they made a law against it a few hundred years ago.

RJ: (thoughtfully) Ohhh… Hmmm… New idea then.

Dad: Yes?

RJ: We wait until someone going to put a coffin in the ground, before it’s in the grave, and when they’re not looking we take the bones then!

Dad: Yeah, I’m sure no one will be upset by that.

On the weekend, we all drove up to Gingin to help with the second stage of winemaking. The first stage, picking the grapes and first pressing, was already done a couple of weeks ago; it was time for the second pressing and getting the wine into vats for fermentation. We also spent time working on LR’s latest project, “The Museum of the Universes of Science” — a showcase for all the amazing animals, bones, plants and rocks that we discover up there.

Obviously, winemaking is a very serious business!

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(while eating breakfast)

RJ: (uncharacteristic silence)

RJ: …

RJ: …

RJ: You know what I can’t stand? CLOWNS! Arrggh! I can’t stand those guys!

RJ: (throws up his hands) They get up there and do their clown stuff, and… I just know all their tricks! All of them!

RJ: (shakes head in disgust)

(I still have absolutely no clue where this outburst came from).