(before school)
Dad: What are you guys up to? Are you ready yet?
RJ: (rushing out of LR’s room) Yes! We are! We’re playing, “Hide and Prawn!”
Dad: What the…
LR: (wanders out, looking confused, wearing one ear plug and airline socks) I don’t know how to play this game.
RJ: It’s okay! I’m teaching you!
(while eating dinner)
LR: Here’s a trick, RJ. What animal is pork made from?
RJ: Cows?
LR: No. Pigs!
Dad: How about this one? What animal is beef made from?
LR: Pigs?
Dad: No.
LR: Cows?
Dad: Yes!
Dad: One more… What is venison?
RJ: Lion food!
(while getting ready for school)
RJ: … But I need to wear all grey!
Mum: You can wear your grey tracky pants and a grey t-shirt.
RJ: That’s GRAAAAAY-TE! (runs off amidst a gale of giggling)
(walking home from school)
RJ: I have a girlfriend, you know.
Dad: I didn’t know that.
RJ: Yeah. She’s at my other school.
Dad: That’s cool. What’s her name?
RJ: L. But we don’t talk much.
Dad: Really?
RJ: Actually. She doesn’t talk to me… and I don’t talk to her either… but she’s still my girlfriend.
(while attempting to cut nails)
Dad: That’s your hands… Time for your toenails.
RJ: (curls into a ball) I have no feet or hands. I am a boulder!
Dad: … Uhhh… Okay… Then how did you get here?
RJ: In a paper bag — a party bag. Someone left me here.
(while eating breakfast)
LR: RJ, the Earth wont be around forever. The sun is going to blow up and the Earth will get completely burned.
RJ: But I want to do something awesome. I know, I’ll save the mammoths!
LR: You’ll have to go past Jupiter.
RJ: I’ll take them to Pluto. It’s icy.
Dad: But where are you going to get the mammoths. They’re extinct now.
RJ: I’ll need a time machine… But I have to invent it first.
(while eating dinner)
Dad: I love that song. Maybe I could learn to play it on the piano!
LR: Or on the guitar!
RJ: Or on the ukelele!
LR: Or on the flute!
RJ: Or on the computer!
LR: Or on the drums!
RJ: Or on a violin, but the bow is made from lots of spider webs that are stretched very long on a stick… But you would have to play it very carefully.
(in an airport)
Dad: Come on RJ, let’s go to the toilet before we get on the plane.
RJ: I don’t need to go. I’m fine.
Dad: It’s a lot easier to go now. You’ll have to sit still after we get on the plane.
RJ: I’m not going anywhere! EVER!
Dad: Last chance, mate.
RJ: (yelling) I’M STAYING RIGHT HERE… UNTIL THE SUN BLOWS UP!
(while eating dinner)
RJ: I’d like to thank somebody tonight. I’d like to thank the Romans… for inventing toilets.
RJ: THANK YOU ROMANS!
(LR, Mum and Dad): Thank you Romans!
Dad: They invented plumbing and running water in houses too.
… a few moments later …
RJ: I’d like to thank somebody tonight. I’d like to thank the Romans again… for inventing running water!
RJ: THANK YOU ROMANS!
LR, Mum and Dad: (groaning) Thank you Romans!
… a few minutes later …
RJ: I’d like to thank somebody else tonight. I’d like to thank the Egyptians! For inventing paper!
(LR, Mum and Dad): ARRGGGHH!!
Last week, RJ and LR went off to try out trampolining. Their coach is an Olympic medalist and they are using full-sized Olympic equipment — these are some BIG trampolines. While LR’s schedule is pretty heavily booked up these days, it looks like RJ is going to stick with it after we get back from our trip.
RJ catches some serious air time as he works on his tuck jump.
