Crumpled Home » RJ

Nuts about religion

Luke — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:07:05 +0000

(while eating dinner)

RJ: Can I have some more lamb, please?

Mom: Eat some salad first. You haven’t even eaten any pine nuts, and you love those.

RJ: I can’t eat that!

Mom: Why not?

RJ: Because that pine nut is the God of Victory! I’m still praying to him.

Mom: Well you’re not getting anything else to eat until you eat those.

LR: Don’t worry about that one, RJ, there’s about twenty more gods on your plate right there… I’ve eaten all the gods on my plate, and they were great!

Dad: So what have your gods done for you lately, RJ?

RJ: Well… They helped me at the beach today?

Dad: Really? How?

RJ: I didn’t get eaten by a shark! They kept all the sharks away.

Dad: Good point. I guess they kept all the thunderstorms and earthquakes away too.

RJ: (Bows head and prays to the pine nut). Yep. They’re powerful and delicious. (chomp)

First day of school, 2012

Luke — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 03:07:14 +0000

After a stressful evening of packing school bags and reviewing essential school and office supplies (including psychedelic liquid filled rulers and pencil sharpeners), the kids are ready for the first day of school.

RJ is starting Year 1 and LR enters Year 4! Congrats guys!

The first day of school. Welcome to Year 1, RJ. Welcome to Year 4, LR!

Everything was all very friendly until we reached the school gate... and then LR insisted that she not be followed to her classroom. Parents are just too embarrassing.

RJ waits at the door to his classroom. He's totally ready for Year 1, but are they ready for him?

Fit for a king

Luke — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:07:54 +0000

The other day, RJ disappeared into the playroom for an hour to work on a lego project. The peace and quiet was truly remarkable, if not somewhat disconcerting. We left him to himself and when he was finally finished, he presented us with… this:

A fully automatic lego guillotine for, as he put it, “taking care of bad guys and kings.”

The good news is that now we know that he learned something during our trip to France.

Behold RJ's fully automatic lego guillotine, fit for a king!

Transmogrification (without the tiger)

Luke — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 03:07:27 +0000

RJ: Dad, if LR comes back from camp with four legs, big marshmallow lips and a mane and a tale and hooves, do we have to keep her?

Dad: I’m not sure RJ. If she can talk, I think we have to.

RJ: She wont be able to talk, Dad. She’s a horse.

Dad: A horse could be kind of useful. Do you think she could make it up the stairs to her room?

RJ: No way!

Dad: I guess she could stay in the backyard. Mom would be pretty upset if we got rid of her.

RJ: It just wouldn’t work. She would eat all the plants and wouldn’t be able to do her jobs around the house. She’d have to go.

Dad: I guess you’re right. Oh well, I’ll miss her.

Choose your battles

Luke — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:07:42 +0000

(While playing in the waves at the beach…)

(RJ runs up to the ocean raising his fist into the air.)

RJ: (roaring at the ocean) I challenge you, Poseidon!!! My mortal enemy! YOU SHALL BE DEFEATED!!!

(RJ punches and kicks, throwing himself at the ocean with great ferocity. Meanwhile, a huge wave sweeps forward towards him.)

LR: (from a safe distance) Look out RJ!

RJ: What the!? ACK.

(The wave crashes over him, dragging him up the beach.)

RJ: Help! Help! Where’s the manual? I need the instruction manual! This isn’t working properly!

Invasion!!!

Luke — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 03:07:26 +0000

While we were away (yes, pictures from our holiday are coming soon), RJ and LR worked on their art skills. While LR interwove a broad spectrum of stories, pictures and poems, RJ turned his laser-like focus towards drawing aliens in preparation for invasion (project 1).

The Party Alien is on the way. He is a lot of fun, but his sword is super sharp.

The Science Alien uses "Alien Google" on his computer for answering questions about anything in the universe. He also has his grandmother with him, but she has to stay downstairs.

The Mum Alien has extra eyes and arms for keeping baby aliens out of trouble

The Warrior Alien has extra sharp teeth and spikes on his head.

The Strongest Alien can lift pretty much anything.

The Scary Alien will grab you with his arms and tentacles. You can't escape him.

The Twin Aliens are the sneakiest. While you are watching one, the other is smashing everything up. When you try to stop him, the first one runs away and laughs at you.

Redefining mommy blogging

Luke — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 03:07:54 +0000

(while eating breakfast)

LR: I’m doing a new post on my blog about the cathedrals in France.

Dad: Sounds like a great idea! Do you think you’ll ever run out of things to put on it?

LR: Not really. I can always just make up stuff. No one on the internet really knows the truth.

RJ: You know, LR. If you were two thousand years old and you had a blog, you could write lots of stories about your mummy friends and all the things that they’re doing these days.

Dad: Mummy blogging? Wouldn’t that be kind of boring? “Just another day, hanging out at the museum….”, “Well, I’m thinking of repainting the tomb…”, “I found this great sarcophagus the other day”…

RJ: Yeah, but the stories about the crazy one that escaped and is hunting everyone would be REALLY exciting.

Future untapped markets

Luke — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 03:07:04 +0000

RJ: (sighing) I’m going to be so busy when I grow up.

Dad: Really? What are you going to be doing?

RJ: You know!!!

Dad: (uncertain) Yeah, but… which job? You’ve told me a few.

RJ: I’m going to be a warrior and fight monsters!

Dad: Oh yeah! So there will be a lot of demand for warriors and monster hunters in the future?

RJ: Definitely.

Dad: In that case, there should be good money in it for you. How much do monster hunters get paid?

RJ: Oh about a thousand dollars…

Dad: For each monster? Hmm… I thought it would be more than that.

RJ: No. But it is really great when you find a whole nest of them.

December 2011, Photo Wrap-Up

Luke — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 03:07:47 +0000

With a huge overseas vacation looming, the first half of December was filled with the last days of the school year, some early Christmas celebrations… and a lot of silly hats.

December means the Advent calendar gets brought out. We like to pretend the kids appreciate the tradition and fun puzzles and clues that we leave in there for them...

It's RJ's job to read the clues this year. LR was surprisingly patient.

Oh no! The end-of-year music "party" turns out to be an impromptu concert and no one will volunteer to go first. RJ steps up and breaks the ice with a few of his favorites.

Three songs later, RJ has the room in stitches, finishing his performance with a flourish in classic RJ style.

LR volunteers to play a few of her favorite songs too. Beethoven FTW!

LR won one of the three coveted prizes for the students who improved the most during the year. Well done, LR! You deserve it!

The last game of the year (but not the season). RJ's teeball skills (and patience with fielding) are improving with every game.

Everyone works together building the gingerbread house. For some reason, only about half the materials make it into the construction -- there must be some dodgy contractors on the worksite.

Nice work guys! The finished gingerbread house looks terrific!

Because we went away for Christmas, we had an early Christmas dinner at Grammy and Poppa's.

LR takes the time to read the cards before tearing into the presents.

Thanks Grammy!

Careful there Auntie Jess. It's not safe to get between RJ and his Hero Factory legos. Just carefully put it back on the table and you'll be okay.

Parental win: the kids actually remembered their manners without prompting this year! Now if only we could get them to stop picking their noses.

Christmas dinner. A time for family, a huge feast, and the opportunity to wear ridiculous things on your head...

RJ got first pick of the hats and picked out the crustacean for himself and a spicy little number for Grandma Dot.

LR picks out her favorite, complete with spring-loaded pom-pom action -- essential for tormenting younger brothers.

Everyone helps out during the final rush to the kitchen, delivering the food to the table.

Crumbly destruction and delicious, sugary mahem ensue as the gingerbread house is attacked!

An important lesson learned... Never, EVER let the kids pick the hat for you or you will end up looking silly.

The end of another school year!

Luke — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 03:07:59 +0000

Once again, LR’s and RJ’s school put on its huge biennial musical performance. All the kids at the school have a part, with each grade getting its own big musical piece to perform. This year’s performance was Jack and the Beat-stalk, another original written by the school principal, filled with only-slightly-mangled songs by the Beatles.

LR and the Go-Go Girls strut their stuff across the stage.

Shake it up baby, now! Twist and shooout!

RJ wasn't a fan of the costume, but graciously decided to play along and not ruin the entire show for everyone.

Here comes the sun! Doo doo doo doo!

And we can’t forget a super big thanks to our awesome teachers this year… We’ll miss you!

LR loved Alice and all the amazing creativity and imagination she brought into the classroom.

Claire and RJ got along amazingly well. We were lucky to have such a wonderful and understanding teacher.