RJ decided that today would be a great day to wear a tie and eat a strawberry… and put on a performance for the rest of the family.
RJ decided to tie off a few loose ends.
What is this before me? A delicious snack?
Ahh, strawberry, my dear old friend. Perhaps I'll enjoy just a nibble.
CHOMP!
(while eating lunch)
Teacher: Hi RJ! We’re going to be talking about paint today and where it comes from. Do you have any ideas on how to make paint?
RJ: (nonchalantly) Oh yeah. You just need some eye dust and then some blood and then you mix it together and put it all over your hands and you can make handprints.
Teacher: So what colour would that paint be?
RJ: Red… Dark red.
Teacher: That’s a pretty good idea. What about if you wanted some other colour though?
RJ: (thinking) Hmm…
RJ: You just need different coloured eye dust!
Teacher: But where do you get coloured eye dust from?
RJ: Easy! From eyeballs… from dead people!
(while driving home from school)
Dad: Red light. We have to stop.
RJ: Yes. Time to stop… No! Don’t stop here!
Dad: Why not?
RJ: Red vampires! They look like red people and they get you if you stop.
Dad: We have to stop; it’s a red light!
RJ: No, no! It’s a trap! They turn into bats and hide in the lights. Then they turn them red and get you.
Dad: Can’t I just lock the doors?
RJ: They’re too strong. They can break the locks.
Dad: We’ll drive really fast and get out of here.
RJ: No. They are very fast too.
Dad: I guess we’re doomed.
RJ: Yes. Doomed… doomed… doomed…
