Crumpled Home

(driving in the car)

RJ: I know the WORST place to get sunburned. Do you know it, Dad?

Dad: I can think of a few places that would be pretty terrible. Where do you think?

RJ: The second worst place is…  In… Your… Armpits… The skin is so thin there, and you’re always moving it. It would be TERRIBLE!

Dad: I totally agree!

RJ: I know. In the olden days, they just wore singlets and they would get burned there all the time. One day the king said, “Enough! I hate having sunburned armpits!” and so someone invented a t-shirt. The king had a big celebration and it wasn’t a problem any more.

Dad: Cool! I didn’t know that… You said that’s the second worst place to get burned. What’s the actual WORST place?

RJ: Oh, easy. Sunburn on your brain is definitely the worst place… but you can only get that if you’re a zombie. Don’t worry about it.

(while discussing RJ’s girlfriend problems over breakfast)

Dad: So maybe you just need a hockey mask? It’s a mask that you can see through with metal bars. It will block anything big from getting through and hitting your face.

RJ: Yeah! I need one that uses laser beams and blasts things that try to go through.

LR: They aren’t real, RJ. You just have to get one with bars.

RJ: They ARE real. They’re made by mad scientists and they are VERY useful.