(RJ getting increasingly agitated attempting to attach porcupine quill to large inflatable hedgehog)

RJ: I need to stick it on. Hedgy wont be safe.

Dad: Safe from what? He’s in our living room.

RJ: He has no spines. He isn’t safe from predators.

Dad: (get increasingly worried about Hedgy getting punctured) We don’t have predators in here. The worst Hedgy has to deal with is that pile of unfolded laundry on the couch.

Mum: RJ, he’s a fuzzy hedgehog. They’re bred specially for living rooms.

RJ: He isn’t safe! What if… if… a lot of hungry dogs come in here… through the window?

…

Dad: (under his breath) Better Hedgy than us, then. We’ll remember him in heroic verse after we make our escape.

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