Crumpled Home

(discussing nightmares over breakfast)

RJ: My dream was about robot emus. They were really scary because they could run faster than me.
Dad: Whoah. That sounds awful!
RJ: Yes. They had guns on them on too.
Dad: Did you have a way to stop them, or to get away?
RJ: I found out that when you put toothpaste in their eyes, it kills them.
Dad: So you killed them and escaped?
RJ: No! They came back to life! They turned into zombie robot emus!

(at the dinner table)

Dad: So what happened at your school today, RJ?

RJ: I took my whip scorpion into school and showed it to everybody.

Dad: Great! Did you teach the class all about them?

RJ: Yep! But it was terrible. No one asked any questions! … except for Harry.

Dad: What did he ask?

RJ: He asked if whip scorpions lived in England and I told him, “NO! They only live in Perth. There are lots of them and live in the roof of your house.”

We’re expecting the phone calls from the other parents to start any day now…

Your child is having nightmares about giant insects living in your roof?

What a surprise!”