Crumpled Home

(Before school)

Mom: What are you taking in for news today, RJ?

RJ: Can I bring the bow that I made?

Mom: That’s a good idea.

(Later, while walking to school)

RJ: Mom, there’s a rule that says you can’t bring weapons to school.

Mom: (pauses) So do you really think bringing your bow to school was a good idea?

RJ: No… But can we see what my teacher says?

Mom: Okay. We’ll see.

(A few minutes later)

Claire: No, RJ. I don’t think that’s a good idea.

RJ: (getting angry) But!!!

Claire: We have a rule about weapons at school… But you have done such good work on this, let’s take a photo of you with it and then send it home with Mom.

RJ: *explodes*

(Moments later, RJ is outside talking to Mom.)

Mom: You knew the rule, RJ.

RJ: But I made it and I only want to show it for news!

Mom: They can’t have kids bringing weapons to class. It’s not safe.

RJ: (exasperated) But… but… It’s only half a weapon! You can’t even use it without arrows!

Mom: …

Mom: (relenting) You do have a point… You can ask Claire one last time.

(A few minutes later, RJ is happily playing with his friends. The bow sits on the news table waiting for its moment in the spotlight.)

Claire: It looks like we’ve got a little lawyer on our hands.

Mom: (sighing) I know. Do you know anyone who needs a criminal defense lawyer? They can have him for cheap… free even.

Mom: So RJ, for news today you have to talk about something that’s happening during school holidays.

RJ: Like our trip?

Dad: Good idea. Perhaps something about where we’re going, what we might see.

RJ: How about something I’m bringing?

Dad: That could work.

RJ: Well, I’m bringing a sock.

Dad: (doubtful) Umm… Maybe something a bit more-

RJ: But it’s special! He’s my friend! He’s called Sockster!

Dad: (uncertain) Okay?

RJ: He has a song that he sings:
“Sock sock sock, socks rock!
Sock sock sock, socks rock!”

Dad: Well…

RJ: And he has a favorite sport!

Dad: What’s that?

RJ: SOCCER! He always wins the trophy.

Dad: Fair enough. You can tell everyone about Sockster.

(Sockster didn’t exist until this conversation. He was invented on-the-spot, purely for entertaining the class.)

(on the way to school)

Dad: You’re brining your ammonite fossil?

RJ: Yeah. I want to show it for news.

Dad: Be extra super careful with it… Most kids don’t get to bring ammonites to school. Know why?

RJ: Because they’re really hard to find?

Dad: Yep… but mostly because their parents know they are going to drop them.

RJ: I think there’s a rule. You can drop them one time, and that’s okay, but drop them two times and you’re out. No more fossils for you.