Crumpled Home

(while getting ready for the day)

RJ: I know what to do if zombies come… I’ve got a poison mushroom and when they eat it, then they’ll really be dead.

Dad: But RJ, there’s a problem. Zombies don’t eat mushrooms, they eat…

RJ: BRAAAAAAIINNNZZZZ…

Dad: Yeah. So there’s the problem.

RJ: Not a problem… I’ll just put some brains inside the mushroom so that they want to eat it.

Dad: That’ll work, except for one thing. Where are you going to get the brains from?

RJ: Another zombie!

Dad: Isn’t that dangerous?

RJ: Sure, but I can use rope. If I throw it like a lasso, and tie him up, then I get its brains out safely!

Dad: Just watch out for that zombie blood.

RJ: Yes, I will have to be very careful. After that, I will put some traps by the front door… Actually, a lot of traps.

Dad: What kind of traps work on zombies?

RJ: I will have a glue shooter first, so they get stuck and can’t move very fast, then a boomerang shooting gun and a light saber shooting gun. That will get rid of all of them.

Dad: And after that? What will you do with the huge pile of dead zombies in the doorway. That’s going to be a BIG problem.

RJ: That’s easy! I’ll just put them in the garden afterwards. Dead zombies are very good for plants.

(while getting ready for school in the morning)

Dad: RJ! Where are you? Time to get dressed.

RJ: (hiding under umbrella) There is no RJ here!

Dad: Okay. Whoever is under that umbrella must get dressed now!

RJ: There is no umbrella here!

Dad: What are you then?

RJ: I’m a talking mushroom! Boop boop! Hello!

RJ: Let’s be explorers!

Dad: Yeah! We can go and discover new lands.

RJ: We have to protect the children.

Dad: Um… Okay. Let’s go!

RJ: We have to be sneaky and watch out for the weasel. It will eat us!

Dad: That dastardly weasel! Let’s hide behind these reeds.

RJ: No! Let’s hide under this mushroom.

Dad: (attempting to hide behind mushroom) Okay.

RJ: Oh no! Two weasels!

One weasel is bad enough...