Crumpled Home

(while watching a movie)

RJ: Can I PLEASE have some more blanket LR?

LR: Here’s some more. You can have that side.

RJ: That’s not enough! Sheesh! It’s like a blanket desert over here!

Dad: No watching… It’s a school night. Bedtime, Mister!

RJ: But Mom said I could watch a movie!

Dad: Yeah, on the weekend, not for tonight. Move!

RJ: (threatening) If you don’t let me, then I’ll be the… Distressed Parrot.

Dad: Then I’m just going to have to deal with a distressed parrot then.

RJ: (in very loud parrot voice) Distress! No one’s getting the damsel! Arawwk! Danger Alert! Princess is in distress! Damsel in distress! Emergency! Panic!

We’re back from our awesome holiday and the good news is: no monkey bites or life-threatening illnesses!

While we’re getting those pictures sorted out, here’s everything else we got up to during April: our neighbours visited with their new baby, we played real video games for the first time, we took some friends ice skating, we dyed some eggs for Easter and we also noticed that a movie character has been taking fashion tips from… Dad?

Our neighbour's mummy bobtail lizard had babies and they were super cute!

A couple of weeks ago LR headed off to camp and we decided to have a movie night with RJ so he could enjoy something special. Considering his imagination, we picked an older movie with a fun story (The Adventures of Baron Munchausen). Things went fairly well, although he was a bit bored during the beginning. Part way through, Mom and I briefly turned and discussed something. I’m not sure what it was, but it was probably something critically important, like what the dismembered body parts that the cat recently dragged in originally belonged to, or when I would finally get around to gluing down the plastic strips on the edges of the cabinet doors in the kitchen.

Conversation over, we looked up and saw RJ, eyes very wide, staring at the screen. On screen, in the typically surreal and maniacal styling of Terry Gilliam, a horrifying, winged variant of the Grim Reaper / Angel of Death loomed over someones body, coaxing a soul from their mouth as flames and screaming noises roared in the background.

I quickly realised I had forgotten a fairly important part of the movie… and that I’m no longer in the running for the Parent of the Year Award. Less than a moment later, the movie was paused, the screen was blanked and we were asking RJ if he wanted to watch something else.

RJ: (quietly) Yes, please.

The movie got switched off and replaced with the safe, inoffensive (yet mildly nauseating) world of “The Land Before Time“, but it appears the damage was already done. To be fair, the scene was only thirty seconds long, but it does set up the young girl in her role as heroine, so it’s fairly important. Considering the last time I watched the movie was twenty years ago, I’m not surprised I had forgotten it.

My memory — or more accurately, my lack of memory — is an impressive thing. Yesterday I went to the shops to buy a few things, most importantly some spinach.  Now spinach was not only requested before I left, but was actually written down on a shopping list that I carried in my hand and it (spinach, not the shopping list) was a critical ingredient of the evening’s meal. Spinach was therefore very important and more than once while walking through the store I told myself, “Must not forget the spinach.” Much to my poor, suffering wife’s chagrin, the spinach is still sitting uneaten on a shelf in the vegetable department, quite safe from our hungry family.

The fallout from the movie incident didn’t occur until the next day and considering our previous experiences with RJ, it was pretty mild. It all started with RJ spending some time with his lego, working hard on a secret project.

RJ: I made something. Do you like it?

Dad: (channelling Keanu Reeves)… whoah….

RJ: It’s the Death Fairy.

Dad: It’s awesome. How long did that take?

RJ: Just this morning, but some bits are falling off, can you help me get them to stay?

Dad: Sure thing.

(Progress is made reinforcing some sections and changing others.)

RJ: Did you know the Death Fairy can smell better than a bear? That’s how he knows you are going to die.

Dad: Most people call him the Angel of Death. He’s not real, you know.

RJ: I know. It’s just a story.

Dad: Are you scared of it?

RJ: Not really. I already know lots about him.

Dad: Like what?

RJ: He can never be killed because he has no weakness. He also has many children that do what he says and help protect him… and a mum that stays at home and protects his house.

Dad: So he’s pretty dangerous then.

RJ: YES! Do you know the worst part?

Dad: What’s that?

RJ: He takes your soul and your ideas and puts them in a jar and he never lets them out. He loves to look at the little stars in it.

Dad: How does he do that?

RJ: He has the closest looker microscope, with the closest looking sensors. It’s the only way to see the stars.

Dad: So where did he come from anyway?

RJ: Well… Death Fairies used to be normal people and they lived on another planet. They were living in a house and it got buried under rocks and they died. After that, they felt a bit zombieish and woke up again… and then they were Death Fairies.

RJ's rendition of the Death Fairy, aka the Angel of Death.

RJ’s birthday was loads of fun. After school, we gathered up most of his classmates and walked them to the park near our house, where we enjoyed fruit, snacks and cupcakes! We had a nice dinner and more cake that night with Grammy and Poppa. The next day, RJ invited two of his friends to go see a movie with us in the city. Happy birthday RJ!

RJ's favorite present was this jaw from a 10ft lemon shark.

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Last Thursday before school, RJ had an incident involving a brick and a digit… And by brick I mean, ‘a middle-sized paving slab’, and by digit I mean, ‘his middle toe’ and by incident I mean, ‘dropping the brick from head height in such a way that its edge lands on the toe causing a particularly nasty gash down to the joint resulting in an alarming amount of blood, a lot of yelling and a fun-filled trip to the hospital.’

RJ's toe at the hospital, all cleaned up, but before the stitches went in.

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The trip to Melbourne wasn’t only for Thanksgiving dinner with our friends. We also spent a bunch of time with our cousins!

Even though it was nearly summer, the weather was typical Melbourne: cool and rainy. The day we arrived, we stopped by a great cafe for a terrific brunch followed by a trip to the Melbourne Museum. They have a great permanent dinosaur exhibit and while we were there, they had a fantastic arthropod exhibit with a huge collection of LIVE tarantulas and dangerous spiders as well as some insects. RJ was in heaven — a museum full of dinosaurs and bugs!

Off to a cafe for breakfast, where LR tells Mi. all the latest news. Surprise of the morning: both LR and RJ like kippers!

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(phone rings, it’s T, one of LR’s friends from school)

T: I’m going to go to the movies with LR.

Dad: She and her mum aren’t here right now. Do you know which movie you’re going to see?

T: Yes. Coraline in 3D, but you can’t come.

Dad: Not fair T. You’re always so mean to me!

T: (laughs)

T: We’re trying to pick a good time to go.

Dad: Okay. I’ll tell LR and her mum when they get home.

T: Okay. (pauses)

T: I think maybe we shouldn’t go right now though. My mum is asleep.

It’s September and the wildflowers have gone crazy. We took a quick trip up to Gingin to wish Grammy a happy birthday and spent an afternoon with Poppa helping him with his electronics and designing our own robots.

RJ and LR work on a birthday present for Grammy.

LR admires a huge bunch of daisies.

The almond and other fruit trees in the garden are all flowering.

The field is filled with a carpet of yellow flowers.

LR performs her amazing disappearing stick trick.

Please put down the camera. We want to do something fun.

It's either from a dragon... or a cow.

LR solders a resistor for Poppa.

RJ clips some leads for Poppa.

LR shows off her latest masterpiece - now hanging prominently in her room.

Dad and RJ worked together on cutting, gluing and colouring his robot.

RJ made himself a pair of "mad scientist glasses" -- out of some plastic packaging.

LR and RJ keep each other company during the scary bits of a movie.

RJ: I’m not scared of scary movies… That means I can watch Hairy Bottom.

The fearsome Hairy Bottom