Crumpled Home

The other day, RJ disappeared into the playroom for an hour to work on a lego project. The peace and quiet was truly remarkable, if not somewhat disconcerting. We left him to himself and when he was finally finished, he presented us with… this:

A fully automatic lego guillotine for, as he put it, “taking care of bad guys and kings.”

The good news is that now we know that he learned something during our trip to France.

Behold RJ's fully automatic lego guillotine, fit for a king!

The good news is that November is over (and we’re exhausted). The bad news is that December is on the way, which is sure to be even busier!

This month we survived a bout of the plague, and went to the city to learn some new skills for Heritage Days. Dad got even older than he used to be and now he’s even older. We built our own shelter and enjoyed a terrific Thanksgiving dinner.

RJ suffered from a horrible bout of chicken pox for a day, but awoke the next morning completely spot free with no symptoms! Vaccine FTW!

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A couple of weeks ago LR headed off to camp and we decided to have a movie night with RJ so he could enjoy something special. Considering his imagination, we picked an older movie with a fun story (The Adventures of Baron Munchausen). Things went fairly well, although he was a bit bored during the beginning. Part way through, Mom and I briefly turned and discussed something. I’m not sure what it was, but it was probably something critically important, like what the dismembered body parts that the cat recently dragged in originally belonged to, or when I would finally get around to gluing down the plastic strips on the edges of the cabinet doors in the kitchen.

Conversation over, we looked up and saw RJ, eyes very wide, staring at the screen. On screen, in the typically surreal and maniacal styling of Terry Gilliam, a horrifying, winged variant of the Grim Reaper / Angel of Death loomed over someones body, coaxing a soul from their mouth as flames and screaming noises roared in the background.

I quickly realised I had forgotten a fairly important part of the movie… and that I’m no longer in the running for the Parent of the Year Award. Less than a moment later, the movie was paused, the screen was blanked and we were asking RJ if he wanted to watch something else.

RJ: (quietly) Yes, please.

The movie got switched off and replaced with the safe, inoffensive (yet mildly nauseating) world of “The Land Before Time“, but it appears the damage was already done. To be fair, the scene was only thirty seconds long, but it does set up the young girl in her role as heroine, so it’s fairly important. Considering the last time I watched the movie was twenty years ago, I’m not surprised I had forgotten it.

My memory — or more accurately, my lack of memory — is an impressive thing. Yesterday I went to the shops to buy a few things, most importantly some spinach.  Now spinach was not only requested before I left, but was actually written down on a shopping list that I carried in my hand and it (spinach, not the shopping list) was a critical ingredient of the evening’s meal. Spinach was therefore very important and more than once while walking through the store I told myself, “Must not forget the spinach.” Much to my poor, suffering wife’s chagrin, the spinach is still sitting uneaten on a shelf in the vegetable department, quite safe from our hungry family.

The fallout from the movie incident didn’t occur until the next day and considering our previous experiences with RJ, it was pretty mild. It all started with RJ spending some time with his lego, working hard on a secret project.

RJ: I made something. Do you like it?

Dad: (channelling Keanu Reeves)… whoah….

RJ: It’s the Death Fairy.

Dad: It’s awesome. How long did that take?

RJ: Just this morning, but some bits are falling off, can you help me get them to stay?

Dad: Sure thing.

(Progress is made reinforcing some sections and changing others.)

RJ: Did you know the Death Fairy can smell better than a bear? That’s how he knows you are going to die.

Dad: Most people call him the Angel of Death. He’s not real, you know.

RJ: I know. It’s just a story.

Dad: Are you scared of it?

RJ: Not really. I already know lots about him.

Dad: Like what?

RJ: He can never be killed because he has no weakness. He also has many children that do what he says and help protect him… and a mum that stays at home and protects his house.

Dad: So he’s pretty dangerous then.

RJ: YES! Do you know the worst part?

Dad: What’s that?

RJ: He takes your soul and your ideas and puts them in a jar and he never lets them out. He loves to look at the little stars in it.

Dad: How does he do that?

RJ: He has the closest looker microscope, with the closest looking sensors. It’s the only way to see the stars.

Dad: So where did he come from anyway?

RJ: Well… Death Fairies used to be normal people and they lived on another planet. They were living in a house and it got buried under rocks and they died. After that, they felt a bit zombieish and woke up again… and then they were Death Fairies.

RJ's rendition of the Death Fairy, aka the Angel of Death.

RJ’s birthday was loads of fun. After school, we gathered up most of his classmates and walked them to the park near our house, where we enjoyed fruit, snacks and cupcakes! We had a nice dinner and more cake that night with Grammy and Poppa. The next day, RJ invited two of his friends to go see a movie with us in the city. Happy birthday RJ!

RJ's favorite present was this jaw from a 10ft lemon shark.

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(while playing)

RJ: Look at this, Dad. I’ve got a great invention!

Dad: What is it?

RJ: It’s a ‘Head Box’. Guess what’s inside!

Dad: (feigning confusion) Umm… No idea.

RJ: (opens door and a head falls out) It’s got a head in it!

Dad: Yikes! What’s it for?

RJ: It’s great for when you need to get your heads delivered, but this one has a problem. It’s evil!

Dad: What do you mean?

RJ: Anyone who touches the head turns into someone else!

Dad: Whoah, that’s serious! … So what does a head box do if it doesn’t have the evil problem?

RJ: Well, then it’s just a bone box. You know, for delivering normal bones and stuff.

RJ worked away on this temple for quite a while. He left it on the kitchen counter to make sure everyone got to see it. The creatures and monsters on top are actually sacrifices made by the acolytes to their mighty overlord and leader.

RJ built a bizarre temple where the smaller toys go to visit their mighty leader and make offerings.

I hear a lot of parents wondering if watching television is warping their kids in terrible ways. Our kids don’t get to watch much television, and RJ is a perfect example of why my answer to them is no, probably not.

(overheard in the bathroom)

RJ: LR, when I move out, I have an idea so I wont be lonely.

LR: What’s that?

RJ: I think I’ll fall in love and marry a girl and we’ll have a baby boy.

LR: That’s a good idea!

RJ: I know… and… I’ll never make him move out… and we’ll be great friends… and he can stay and live in my house forever.

LR: You definitely wont get lonely then.

RJ: Exactly.

(later that evening)

RJ: Daddy, if you have to live by yourself, my boy and I will come over and visit you so you don’t get lonely. We can all play legos or do computers, whatever you like.

Dad: Awww… Thanks RJ.

(RJ has been concerned lately about what happens when he leaves home… Who is going to make him leave? Why do his parents want him to go away? Where is he going to live? Who is he going to live with? )

After our first few days in Shepherdstown, we took a quick road-trip down to Charlottesville and Nelson County, Virginia to catch up with some old friends. We only had a few days, so we didn’t get to catch up with everyone that we wanted to, and it’s something we unfortunately have to get used to (until we become ridiculously wealthy and can extend our vacations to months at a time). After getting back, we had some more fun with Grandpa Jeff and had some more cuddles with Baby V.

We drove down to Nelson County, Virginia to visit Jimmy & Jane, great friends of ours. The customary cookies and hamburgers were very popular.

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On the weekend, some friends came over to play and brought a whole lot of lego with them. RJ spent a fair bit of time working on his building — carefully selecting pieces, refining the structure, musing over the benefits of different door designs…

After twenty minutes of hard work, he ended up with this: “The Head Chopping Off Building.”

Off with their heads!!!!

RJ: The visitor is wearing a helmet, but he’s still scared. It might not protect him….

Apparently he’s been paying a lot of attention to those documentaries on human migration, especially regarding the headhunter tribes in Indonesia.

Pictures taken during the last half of August: Lego adventures, frog hunting, Dad goes to Canberra, trampoline time and some stories.

Rescue 1 and Rescue 2 are on a mission to save the world!

LR shows us some of the features of Rescue 1.

RJ takes Mum through some of the critical features of Rescue 2.

Some emergency repairs are needed for Rescue 2.

RJ and LR went looking for one of our back-yard frogs.

We can hear it, but we can't see it anywhere!

Dad went to Canberra for two days. This is Parliament House.

Dad's cousin Jo took him to this place for dinner. They had the best hamburgers there!

LR explains the workings of the world to RJ.

Many days end with lots of bouncing on the trampoline. Get rid of some of that energy, kids!

Time for some stories before bed. Apparently, there's a hippopotamus on the roof.