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Fit for a king

Luke — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 03:07:54 +0000

The other day, RJ disappeared into the playroom for an hour to work on a lego project. The peace and quiet was truly remarkable, if not somewhat disconcerting. We left him to himself and when he was finally finished, he presented us with… this:

A fully automatic lego guillotine for, as he put it, “taking care of bad guys and kings.”

The good news is that now we know that he learned something during our trip to France.

Behold RJ's fully automatic lego guillotine, fit for a king!

November 2011, Photo Wrap-Up

Luke — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 03:07:03 +0000

The good news is that November is over (and we’re exhausted). The bad news is that December is on the way, which is sure to be even busier!

This month we survived a bout of the plague, and went to the city to learn some new skills for Heritage Days. Dad got even older than he used to be and now he’s even older. We built our own shelter and enjoyed a terrific Thanksgiving dinner.

RJ suffered from a horrible bout of chicken pox for a day, but awoke the next morning completely spot free with no symptoms! Vaccine FTW!

Dad tied up a tennis ball to use for teeball practice. RJ pointed out that it's so much easier to whack a ball using a tennis racket.

LR loves to laugh. Dad loves to take photos. Sometimes they happen at the same time.

At the Naturescape area, LR carefully constructed a channel around someone else's dam, and drained the upper pond.

RJ: Zero days without injury!

At the train station, RJ enjoys a delicious spearmint milk.

Mum wonders why the most annoying people on the train always sit right next to her.

When we arrived at the demonstration archaeological camp, the kids were asked, “Do you want to learn how scientists really do this? or do you want to go straight to the fun stuff?” They stared blankly for a long time trying to make sense of what the woman was saying. It wasn’t until mum explained to the woman that for our kids, the way scientists really do it WAS the fun stuff that any progress was made, and off they went to grid and diagram a search area full of artifacts.

RJ discovers a small vase at the achaeological dig site.

LR carefully sorts the fragments, ultimately piecing together a cup and saucer!

Mom helps RJ assemble the pieces without skewering his hand on ceramic shards.

LR tries her hand at some stone carving. It's harder than it looks but gets easier once you get into a groove.

Dad explains some of the finer points of carving to RJ, who knows it all already.

LR also used a loom to weave a section of belt, or strap, or something... Probably a bookmark. When in doubt, you can always use something as a bookmark.

RJ poses next to the massive lego creation.

Mom took everyone out to breakfast on Dad's birthday! Grammy and Poppa showed up too!

RJ helped roll out the pizza crusts for Dad's birthday dinner.

... but Mom had to help on some of them.

LR puts the finishing touches on Dad's birthday cake.

Happy Birthday to you!!!!

We took a quick trip to Dwellingup before the worst heat of the summer arrived. By begging for edamame soy beans, Scarlet established once and for all that she is not a real dog.

RJ hunts carefully for tadpoles in the stream. He ended up catching four or five in about ten minutes.

Scarlet found herself a nice comfy spot to lay down in.

RJ and LR take shelter underneath the 'tent' that dad helped them build. Sorry Dad, only room for two in here!

Oh nevermind, we can move over for you.

A few days later, it was time for Thanksgiving dinner! Aunty Jess shows us just how much fun making corn bread can really be.

Grammy and Jess working together.

Even Uncle Troy and Aunty Bron from Melbourne were there! Hey guys!

Poppa did a great job carving the turkey.

Mom teaches LR the finer points of stealing the most delicious bits from the turkey before it's even served.

Here boy! Jump! Up! Up! Good RJ! ... (and you wonder why the boy has issues)

After a huge turkey feast and too much pie, Poppa and RJ go over the hand-traced turkeys that he made in class that day.

A Grim Fairy Tale

Luke — Tue, 03 May 2011 03:07:23 +0000

A couple of weeks ago LR headed off to camp and we decided to have a movie night with RJ so he could enjoy something special. Considering his imagination, we picked an older movie with a fun story (The Adventures of Baron Munchausen). Things went fairly well, although he was a bit bored during the beginning. Part way through, Mom and I briefly turned and discussed something. I’m not sure what it was, but it was probably something critically important, like what the dismembered body parts that the cat recently dragged in originally belonged to, or when I would finally get around to gluing down the plastic strips on the edges of the cabinet doors in the kitchen.

Conversation over, we looked up and saw RJ, eyes very wide, staring at the screen. On screen, in the typically surreal and maniacal styling of Terry Gilliam, a horrifying, winged variant of the Grim Reaper / Angel of Death loomed over someones body, coaxing a soul from their mouth as flames and screaming noises roared in the background.

I quickly realised I had forgotten a fairly important part of the movie… and that I’m no longer in the running for the Parent of the Year Award. Less than a moment later, the movie was paused, the screen was blanked and we were asking RJ if he wanted to watch something else.

RJ: (quietly) Yes, please.

The movie got switched off and replaced with the safe, inoffensive (yet mildly nauseating) world of “The Land Before Time“, but it appears the damage was already done. To be fair, the scene was only thirty seconds long, but it does set up the young girl in her role as heroine, so it’s fairly important. Considering the last time I watched the movie was twenty years ago, I’m not surprised I had forgotten it.

My memory — or more accurately, my lack of memory — is an impressive thing. Yesterday I went to the shops to buy a few things, most importantly some spinach. Now spinach was not only requested before I left, but was actually written down on a shopping list that I carried in my hand and it (spinach, not the shopping list) was a critical ingredient of the evening’s meal. Spinach was therefore very important and more than once while walking through the store I told myself, “Must not forget the spinach.” Much to my poor, suffering wife’s chagrin, the spinach is still sitting uneaten on a shelf in the vegetable department, quite safe from our hungry family.

The fallout from the movie incident didn’t occur until the next day and considering our previous experiences with RJ, it was pretty mild. It all started with RJ spending some time with his lego, working hard on a secret project.

RJ: I made something. Do you like it?

Dad: (channelling Keanu Reeves)… whoah….

RJ: It’s the Death Fairy.

Dad: It’s awesome. How long did that take?

RJ: Just this morning, but some bits are falling off, can you help me get them to stay?

Dad: Sure thing.

(Progress is made reinforcing some sections and changing others.)

RJ: Did you know the Death Fairy can smell better than a bear? That’s how he knows you are going to die.

Dad: Most people call him the Angel of Death. He’s not real, you know.

RJ: I know. It’s just a story.

Dad: Are you scared of it?

RJ: Not really. I already know lots about him.

Dad: Like what?

RJ: He can never be killed because he has no weakness. He also has many children that do what he says and help protect him… and a mum that stays at home and protects his house.

Dad: So he’s pretty dangerous then.

RJ: YES! Do you know the worst part?

Dad: What’s that?

RJ: He takes your soul and your ideas and puts them in a jar and he never lets them out. He loves to look at the little stars in it.

Dad: How does he do that?

RJ: He has the closest looker microscope, with the closest looking sensors. It’s the only way to see the stars.

Dad: So where did he come from anyway?

RJ: Well… Death Fairies used to be normal people and they lived on another planet. They were living in a house and it got buried under rocks and they died. After that, they felt a bit zombieish and woke up again… and then they were Death Fairies.

RJ's rendition of the Death Fairy, aka the Angel of Death.

RJ’s Birthday Party

Luke — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 03:07:53 +0000

RJ’s birthday was loads of fun. After school, we gathered up most of his classmates and walked them to the park near our house, where we enjoyed fruit, snacks and cupcakes! We had a nice dinner and more cake that night with Grammy and Poppa. The next day, RJ invited two of his friends to go see a movie with us in the city. Happy birthday RJ!

RJ's favorite present was this jaw from a 10ft lemon shark.

His other big present was a set of Lego PowerMiners, mostly because it comes with the largest rock monster available.

After school, it was time for RJ's "Not a party" Party in the park. Half the kids joined our train that snaked through the school toward our house.

A big part of your birthday is the birthday hat... RJ decided it was good enough to wear all day long.

LR is happy to hang out with some of RJ's friends... for a little while.

Kid pile-up at the swing!

RJ blows out the candles... Only one girlfriend this year!

Mum hands out the delicious cupcakes that Grammy made.

C and RJ peek over the edge of the slide before disappearing.

Apparently, a slide is the most fun if it has seven people on it.

Later that night, after dinner, we had another cake for RJ.

The next day, RJ invited two of his friends to go to the movies with us.

We always wave to the train drivers as they arrive at the station.

The three guys watch the world cruise by out of the window of the train.

We had fun spinning a huge stone sphere balanced on a fountain. We got it moving really fast!

One the way to the theatre, we stopped to watch a street performer do some amazing juggling tricks.

The kids enjoy the traditional 'Choc Bombs' -- chocolate covered ice cream cones. We used to get them at the movies as kids too!

Thinking inside the box

Luke — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 03:07:57 +0000

(while playing)

RJ: Look at this, Dad. I’ve got a great invention!

Dad: What is it?

RJ: It’s a ‘Head Box’. Guess what’s inside!

Dad: (feigning confusion) Umm… No idea.

RJ: (opens door and a head falls out) It’s got a head in it!

Dad: Yikes! What’s it for?

RJ: It’s great for when you need to get your heads delivered, but this one has a problem. It’s evil!

Dad: What do you mean?

RJ: Anyone who touches the head turns into someone else!

Dad: Whoah, that’s serious! … So what does a head box do if it doesn’t have the evil problem?

RJ: Well, then it’s just a bone box. You know, for delivering normal bones and stuff.

This means something. This is important.

Luke — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 03:07:40 +0000

RJ worked away on this temple for quite a while. He left it on the kitchen counter to make sure everyone got to see it. The creatures and monsters on top are actually sacrifices made by the acolytes to their mighty overlord and leader.

RJ built a bizarre temple where the smaller toys go to visit their mighty leader and make offerings.

I hear a lot of parents wondering if watching television is warping their kids in terrible ways. Our kids don’t get to watch much television, and RJ is a perfect example of why my answer to them is no, probably not.

They came in peace… and they are delicious!

Luke — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 03:07:15 +0000

(demonstrating his latest Lego construction)

RJ: … And the rock monster rides on top, because they can survive in space.

Dad: I didn’t know Star Wars had rock monsters!

RJ: The Wampa and the Rock Monster teamed up, they were tired of getting beaten up by the good guys.

Dad: And what about… Hang on a minute! Is that a marshmallow in there? Where’d you get that?

RJ: That’s Marshy. He’s helping them. He’s their secret weapon.

Dad: Yeah? What does he do?

RJ: Watch this…

(Marshmallow smashes from above onto an unsuspecting Lego guy, now completely enveloped in delicious, comfy-soft doom).

Dad: WHOAH! Deadly! Is Marshy some kind of alien or something?

RJ: Sort of. He’s an alien, but he’s also piece of the marshmallow alien planet. The whole planet is a giant marshmallow, and little pieces of the planet break off when they’re ready to leave.

Dad: Of course… I don’t know why I didn’t figure that out for myself.

Get Guinea Pig Transporter today and change your life forever!

Luke — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 03:07:56 +0000

Hi, I’m a shouty man and I’m here to tell you about new Guinea Pig Transporter, the incredible pet mobility revolution!

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(cut to scene where two yelling children are chasing a toy guinea pig across a schoolyard)
(voiceover) Those school bullies wont be a problem any more…
(bullies look to camera, appear surprised, and are vaporised by a blinding flash of high intensity ionizing radiation)

Call now and we’ll include these two highly trained clone troopers at no extra charge!

The days of awkwardly walking or carrying your guinea pig are over.

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Based on the design and a conversation with RJ about his latest lego construction. H/T to Horrible Histories and the original Shouty Man.

How to get ahead in construction

Luke — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 03:07:42 +0000

On the weekend, some friends came over to play and brought a whole lot of lego with them. RJ spent a fair bit of time working on his building — carefully selecting pieces, refining the structure, musing over the benefits of different door designs…

After twenty minutes of hard work, he ended up with this: “The Head Chopping Off Building.”

Off with their heads!!!!

RJ: The visitor is wearing a helmet, but he’s still scared. It might not protect him….

Apparently he’s been paying a lot of attention to those documentaries on human migration, especially regarding the headhunter tribes in Indonesia.

Early October pictures

Luke — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:07:11 +0000

Here’s a smattering of pictures from the first half of the month: RJ’s sudden fascination with Superman, a visit to K and J’s place, trips to Gingin, lots of tree climbing, legos, marbles and painting, oh my!

Compared to his obsession with dinosaurs and prehistoric creatures, RJ’s interest in Superman is fairly mild. You’re more likely to catch him pretending to be biologist Nigel Marven.

Don't fear, Superman is on the way.

RJ and I made some Superman badges. I told him, "We don't need no steenkin badges!" but he just wouldn't listen.

K and J’s have an amazing treehouse. It’s multi-level, and is outfitted with a flying-fox, a giant tyre swing, a climbing wall and harnesses and attachment points for everything.

LR and K ride the tyre swing to pretty amazing heights.

LR tackles the climbing wall at K's place.

RJ and J discuss some of the problems they've been having at home.

LR’s tree has grown into one of the best climbing trees imaginable – kid capacity, 15. We’ll find out for sure at this year’s Halloween party.

RJ and LR found an egg shell under LR's tree. Does that mean there's a nest up there somewhere? They've searched all the lower branches and haven't spotted it yet, so maybe not.

RJ climbs up without assistance these days. The monkey genes... they run deep.

Some other recent moments…

Sometimes he just has to yell it out. Negotiating with a hungry three year old who needs a nap is not always possible.

LR tries out Dad's camera while RJ attempts to escape.

LR and RJ worked on this massive castle project. We still haven't managed to use every piece of lego yet.

RJ and Mum adjust their complicated marble run and sling marbles all around the room.

LR adding some details to her big canvas, "The Planet System". It depicts an asteroid crashing into a prehistoric volcanic landscape leading to the collapse of the dinosaur populations on Earth.