Crumpled Home » kraken

Another one to cross off the list

Luke — Tue, 31 May 2011 03:07:27 +0000

(while eating breakfast)

RJ: Do you know what the worst job in the world is?

A Kraken researcher.

You might think it’s good because there’s a lot of science and learning about stuff and you’re actually a scientist.

But actually it’s bad, because you have to sail out to the edge of the world in a big boat, and no one would want to help you… So you have to get into a small boat, and just when you start to do some research… you get eaten.

Terrible job.

Get well soon!

Luke — Thu, 06 May 2010 03:07:48 +0000

Great grandpa Maury went in for surgery on Tuesday. He’s had a second angioplasty and a surprising number of stents put in. Not bad for his first heart related problems (at 97!)

Grandpa Maury is still looking great! Grandpa Maury tells us about his surgeon during lunch, on his 97th birthday.

Everything went fine, but they are keeping him under observation to make sure there are no complications. Mum had the kids draw pictures and went to visit him yesterday. He loved them!

And of course, the pictures that they drew:

LR's drawing depicts a scene of devastation around an erupting volcano, complete with ash clouds masking the sun, portending environmental disaster... and a kraken attacked a ship.

RJ tackles a classic theme... A kraken brutally attacks a pirate ship; its quivering maw and writhing mass of tentacles preparing to unleash a storm of destruction..

Never get involved with an RJ when sleep is on the line…

Luke — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 03:07:48 +0000

(5:30 am, the house is silent, in darkness; a pair of eyes pop open…)

RJ: Mom?

RJ: Excuse me, Mom?

Mom: Mrph.

RJ: Next year? For my birthday? Can I have a kraken piñata?

Mom: Mrph.

RJ: Please?

Mom: Mrph.

RJ: Please? Say yes.

Mom: Yes.

RJ: It has to have tentacles.

Mom: Uh huh.

RJ: And make sure it has suckers on it.

Mom: Sure thing.

(Puts pillow over her head and tries to pretend that RJ isn’t really up for the day.)

Joke Time

Luke — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:27:39 +0000

LR: Why did the elephant paint his feet yellow?

Because he wanted to hide upside down in the custard!

LR: Why did the elephant paint himself purple, with a green face?

Because he wanted to hide in the purple carrot patch!

RJ: Why was the ship missing?

Because the Kraken already smashed it!

LR: What is a slug?

A snail with a housing problem!

RJ: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

Mum: Why did the fish cross the playground?

To get to the other tide!

LR: Why did the cow jump over the moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands!

LR: What’s the scariest flower in the garden?

A dandelion!

Dad: What’s the scariest flower in the whole world?

A daisy. With a lion hiding behind it!

The Kraken awakes!

Luke — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 00:35:08 +0000

The latest on the Kraken, courtesy of RJ and his “Kraken Joke Book”.

Q: Why did the Kraken cross the ocean?

A: To go and eat a pot.

Q: Why did the Kraken have big teeth?

A: Because he was a carnivore.

Q: Why did the Kraken smash the ship?

A: Because he was the Master of the Ocean.

Q: Why did the Kraken jump over the moon?

A: Because he wanted to eat a cow!

Just another day in the life of a giant, destructive sea creature.

Latest Obsession: The Kraken

Luke — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 02:10:46 +0000

RJ’s latest obsession has been the Kraken. After reading about it we’ve had endless discussions about it’s motivations, strengths, weaknesses and fears. We’ve formulated a fairly thorough escape plan on the off chance that we ever encounter one, although he is consistently reassuring me that they’re just in stories and movies “so boats are still safe for us”. After considering the multiple correct pronunciations provided by wikipedia, he settled on one and diligently corrects everyone who mispronounces it. He’s insisted that I find some video of it attacking a ship.

We’ve got some colouring in pages printed out, although they weren’t good enough because there weren’t any people on the ship and you couldn’t see the Kraken’s head. Apparently he needs to see the fear and panic of the sailors, as well as the brutal malevolence in the beast’s eyes to do it justice.