Aug
25
2011
(LR heads downstairs, almost in tears)
LR: I just whacked my elbow on the door and it really hurts. It feels really weird — buzzy.
Dad: Let’s have a look… Oh yeah. That would be your funny bone. There’s a spot there where you can easily whack the nerve and it feels awful. Not very funny at all.
RJ: (yelling from across the room) I’ll show you MY funny bone! Mine is really funny.
Dad: Okay. Show it to us!
RJ: (spins around) … IT’S…
RJ: (bends over, waving his backside at the room) … RIGHT …
RJ: (and starts whacking his rear end) … HERE!

1 comment | tags: anatomy, bones, butt, funny, humerus, injuries, jokes, LR, LR7yo, ouch, RJ, RJ5yo, wtf | posted in Family, Quotes
Jul
27
2011
RJ: This is Spinaxy. He’s a Tri-Horn; their favorite food is blood and they are VERY dangerous.
RJ: They are super tough and you can’t hurt them. The only way to kill them is to shoot them in the mouth with a gold gun and a silver gun, at the same time.
Dad: So how do you get them to open their mouth?
RJ: You have to tell them the funniest joke in the whole world and then you can shoot them. You just better hope they laugh.

Beware Spinaxy the Tri-Horn!!!
no comments | tags: blood, Dad, funny, guns, jokes, monsters, RJ, RJ5yo, wtf | posted in Family, Quotes
Aug
25
2010
(while getting ready for school)
RJ: … But I need to wear all grey!
Mum: You can wear your grey tracky pants and a grey t-shirt.
RJ: That’s GRAAAAAY-TE! (runs off amidst a gale of giggling)

no comments | tags: gray, grey, jokes, Mum, puns, RJ, RJ4yo, school, wtf | posted in Family, Quotes
Feb
9
2010
(LR wanders into Dad’s study, looking very proud of herself…)
LR: I wish mum would talk to me.
Dad: (confused) What? She’s always willing to talk to you, provided she’s not trying to get you guys out the door or something.
LR: (grinning) No, I just wish mum would talk to me.
Dad: I’m sorry your mother wont talk to you…?
LR: But mum wont talk… she just mumbles.

2 comments | tags: Dad, jokes, LR, Mum, puns, the force is strong with this one | posted in Family
Sep
8
2009
LR: Why did the elephant paint his feet yellow?
Because he wanted to hide upside down in the custard!
LR: Why did the elephant paint himself purple, with a green face?
Because he wanted to hide in the purple carrot patch!
RJ: Why was the ship missing?
Because the Kraken already smashed it!
LR: What is a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!
RJ: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
Mum: Why did the fish cross the playground?
To get to the other tide!
LR: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
LR: What’s the scariest flower in the garden?
A dandelion!
Dad: What’s the scariest flower in the whole world?
A daisy. With a lion hiding behind it!

no comments | tags: chickens, cows, Dad, elephants, farmer, flowers, jokes, kraken, lions, LR, Mum, playground, RJ, ships | posted in Family, Quotes