Crumpled Home

(while eating breakfast)

LR: I’m doing a new post on my blog about the cathedrals in France.

Dad: Sounds like a great idea! Do you think you’ll ever run out of things to put on it?

LR: Not really. I can always just make up stuff. No one on the internet really knows the truth.

RJ: You know, LR. If you were two thousand years old and you had a blog, you could write lots of stories about your mummy friends and all the things that they’re doing these days.

Dad: Mummy blogging? Wouldn’t that be kind of boring? “Just another day, hanging out at the museum….”, “Well, I’m thinking of repainting the tomb…”, “I found this great sarcophagus the other day”…

RJ: Yeah, but the stories about the crazy one that escaped and is hunting everyone would be REALLY exciting.

RJ: (sighing) I’m going to be so busy when I grow up.

Dad: Really? What are you going to be doing?

RJ: You know!!!

Dad: (uncertain) Yeah, but… which job? You’ve told me a few.

RJ: I’m going to be a warrior and fight monsters!

Dad: Oh yeah! So there will be a lot of demand for warriors and monster hunters in the future?

RJ: Definitely.

Dad: In that case, there should be good money in it for you. How much do monster hunters get paid?

RJ: Oh about a thousand dollars…

Dad: For each monster? Hmm… I thought it would be more than that.

RJ: No. But it is really great when you find a whole nest of them.

LR: Do cats need to eat anything except meat?

Mom: Well, they’re obligate carnivores, which means they have to eat some meat to survive. They can’t process plants and get all the nutrients they need that way.

(RJ suddenly joins the conversation, hijacks it, and manages to drive it into the sun)

RJ: (speaking a mile a minute) Cats are carnivores. But do you know what? Dogs are carnivores too. They LOVE meat. They’ll eat meat all the time. Our dog, Scarlet? She loves to eat meat. She even loves hunting, especially around Easter time… She hunts rabbits.

(while eating breakfast, the cat is sitting on the chair in front of the kitchen computer)

RJ: No kitty. No more searching…  Dad! She’s typing into Google again!

Dad: What? What is she searching for now?

RJ: “Will… I… catch… a… bird… today?” Uggh! Kitty! You’re not an outside cat!

Dad: Bad cat! No more Google for you!

RJ: Do you know what is really bad? I saw her watching Youtube last night. She was watching videos about catching birds.

Dad: That cat has no shame!

RJ: I know! And then she went on wikipedia and was searching for endangered species!

Dad: I never thought it would come to this… I guess it’s time to change the password.

RJ: Pick something harder this time.

(LR goes sprinting past with RJ chasing just behind her…)

LR: I’m Jesus, and I’m going to help everyone with my powers!

RJ: I’m the Romans, and I’m going to hunt you down and kill you! MWAAA HAA HAA!

LR: (distant) But then I’ll just come back from the dead and get you! HA HA!

Easter and the Autumn break rolled around once more, so we took off down south to unwind and relax a little. We brought our friends M, J, J, and I along with us and we all had a great time. Big events this time around were several extreme rock climbing sessions, decorating eggs, the Easter morning hunt, a hike through the Karri forest and the required horse riding.

We made it to the top!

Continue reading