Crumpled Home » guns http://tobob.com Our world is not the same Wed, 23 May 2012 03:07:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Dad jokes don’t count http://tobob.com/201107/dad-jokes-dont-count/ http://tobob.com/201107/dad-jokes-dont-count/#comments Wed, 27 Jul 2011 03:07:07 +0000 Luke http://tobob.com/?p=4586
  • Devils and black sheep getting you down?
  • Insert lame joke here
  • Well that explains those weird dreams
  • Providing the best deals on lasers and cannons in town
  • You take your lumps
    • ]]>

    RJ: This is Spinaxy. He’s a Tri-Horn; their favorite food is blood and they are VERY dangerous.

    RJ: They are super tough and you can’t hurt them. The only way to kill them is to shoot them in the mouth with a gold gun and a silver gun, at the same time.

    Dad: So how do you get them to open their mouth?

    RJ: You have to tell them the funniest joke in the whole world and then you can shoot them. You just better hope they laugh.

    Beware Spinaxy the Tri-Horn!!!

    Beware Spinaxy the Tri-Horn!!!

    Related posts:

    1. Devils and black sheep getting you down?
    2. Insert lame joke here
    3. Well that explains those weird dreams
    4. Providing the best deals on lasers and cannons in town
    5. You take your lumps

    ]]>     http://tobob.com/201107/dad-jokes-dont-count/feed/ 0     The drastic tactics of tragic magic http://tobob.com/201101/the-drastic-tactics-of-tragic-magic/ http://tobob.com/201101/the-drastic-tactics-of-tragic-magic/#comments Thu, 27 Jan 2011 03:07:59 +0000 Luke http://tobob.com/?p=3361
  • The eternal battle between good and evil
  • She gets it… maybe a bit too well
  • Speaking from experience
  • Existential nightmares at 3
  • Birds of a … feather
    • ]]>

    RJ: Hey Dad! Can you push this for me?

    Dad: (Pushes part of springy elastic toy) Sure. What does it do?

    RJ: When it pops back out, you get a wish. It can turn into anything you want! Watch…

    RJ: I wish for… a laser blaster. (PoP!) See? Isn’t it great? Your turn!

    Dad: Okay… I wish for a flying spike shooter!

    RJ: (PoP!) There! Now maybe someday you’ll get a flying spike shooter.

    Dad: That’s surprisingly vague… Can I try again? I want to try wishing for a huge box of money!

    RJ: No, sorry. It only turns into weapons.

    Dad: How about a gun that shoots bundles of money?

    RJ: (sighs, disappointed) That’s not a very good weapon, Dad.

    Dad: How about a gun that shoots bundles of money that are so big that they squash bad guys.

    RJ: (brightening up) Yeah! That’ll work! (PoP!)

    money roll

    Related posts:

    1. The eternal battle between good and evil
    2. She gets it… maybe a bit too well
    3. Speaking from experience
    4. Existential nightmares at 3
    5. Birds of a … feather

    ]]>     http://tobob.com/201101/the-drastic-tactics-of-tragic-magic/feed/ 0     The sweet, peaceful dreams of a child… http://tobob.com/201006/the-sweet-peaceful-dreams-of-a-child/ http://tobob.com/201006/the-sweet-peaceful-dreams-of-a-child/#comments Tue, 01 Jun 2010 03:07:57 +0000 Luke http://tobob.com/?p=1876
  • Batteries not included
  • I’ve had the strangest dreams lately
  • Well that explains those weird dreams
  • Child’s play
  • Hello Wikipedia, we’d like to make a donation… of our child.
    • ]]>

    (discussing nightmares over breakfast)

    RJ: My dream was about robot emus. They were really scary because they could run faster than me.
    Dad: Whoah. That sounds awful!
    RJ: Yes. They had guns on them on too.
    Dad: Did you have a way to stop them, or to get away?
    RJ: I found out that when you put toothpaste in their eyes, it kills them.
    Dad: So you killed them and escaped?
    RJ: No! They came back to life! They turned into zombie robot emus!

    Emu love

    Related posts:

    1. Batteries not included
    2. I’ve had the strangest dreams lately
    3. Well that explains those weird dreams
    4. Child’s play
    5. Hello Wikipedia, we’d like to make a donation… of our child.

    ]]>     http://tobob.com/201006/the-sweet-peaceful-dreams-of-a-child/feed/ 0