Crumpled Home

RJ: This is Spinaxy. He’s a Tri-Horn; their favorite food is blood and they are VERY dangerous.

RJ: They are super tough and you can’t hurt them. The only way to kill them is to shoot them in the mouth with a gold gun and a silver gun, at the same time.

Dad: So how do you get them to open their mouth?

RJ: You have to tell them the funniest joke in the whole world and then you can shoot them. You just better hope they laugh.

Beware Spinaxy the Tri-Horn!!!

RJ: Hey Dad! Can you push this for me?

Dad: (Pushes part of springy elastic toy) Sure. What does it do?

RJ: When it pops back out, you get a wish. It can turn into anything you want! Watch…

RJ: I wish for… a laser blaster. (PoP!) See? Isn’t it great? Your turn!

Dad: Okay… I wish for a flying spike shooter!

RJ: (PoP!) There! Now maybe someday you’ll get a flying spike shooter.

Dad: That’s surprisingly vague… Can I try again? I want to try wishing for a huge box of money!

RJ: No, sorry. It only turns into weapons.

Dad: How about a gun that shoots bundles of money?

RJ: (sighs, disappointed) That’s not a very good weapon, Dad.

Dad: How about a gun that shoots bundles of money that are so big that they squash bad guys.

RJ: (brightening up) Yeah! That’ll work! (PoP!)

(discussing nightmares over breakfast)

RJ: My dream was about robot emus. They were really scary because they could run faster than me.
Dad: Whoah. That sounds awful!
RJ: Yes. They had guns on them on too.
Dad: Did you have a way to stop them, or to get away?
RJ: I found out that when you put toothpaste in their eyes, it kills them.
Dad: So you killed them and escaped?
RJ: No! They came back to life! They turned into zombie robot emus!