Dad: All ready for T-Ball practice?
RJ: Yeah. I know how I can beat everyone at it too.
Dad: Really? How are you going to do that?
RJ: (rubbing hands and looking extremely mischievous) I have a secret weapon…
RJ: … I call it… Lunch.
LR: Do cats need to eat anything except meat?
Mom: Well, they’re obligate carnivores, which means they have to eat some meat to survive. They can’t process plants and get all the nutrients they need that way.
(RJ suddenly joins the conversation, hijacks it, and manages to drive it into the sun)
RJ: (speaking a mile a minute) Cats are carnivores. But do you know what? Dogs are carnivores too. They LOVE meat. They’ll eat meat all the time. Our dog, Scarlet? She loves to eat meat. She even loves hunting, especially around Easter time… She hunts rabbits.
(while eating dinner)
Mom: So RJ, what was your most favorite thing that you did today?
RJ: Well… I made some cheese! I took some flowers and some water and a bunch of string and mixed it all up in a cheesy way.
Dad: Whoah! What kind of crazy cheese is that?
LR: I know! String cheese!
RJ decided that today would be a great day to wear a tie and eat a strawberry… and put on a performance for the rest of the family.
RJ decided to tie off a few loose ends.
What is this before me? A delicious snack?
Ahh, strawberry, my dear old friend. Perhaps I'll enjoy just a nibble.
CHOMP!
(while packing lunches for school)
Dad: So RJ, what do you want for lunch?
RJ: Hmmm… How about… chip?
Dad: No chips, something else?
RJ: Just grab a potato, then you slice it nice and thin…
Dad: (pointing to loaf of sliced bread) How about this instead?
Now in front of me is a very rare Brazilian Potato. I carefully open the wrapping, and then large chips just peel away. Amazing stuff! Greatest invention since…RJ: (sternly) That’s not a Brazilian potato. That’s impossible.
Dad: What do you mean?
RJ: Don’t you remember the song? The Brazil song?
RJ: (singing) No tea…. Or tomato juice…
You’ll see… No potato juice…RJ: No potato juice means no potatoes. Sorry.
Dad: You’re right… My mistake — wrong South American country. Now in front of me is a very rare Bolivian Potato…
LR stirs the sauce and takes a look to make sure it's simmering nicely.
A couple of weeks ago, LR’s teacher gave the class an assignment. Cook some food and document the procedure, including ingredients and all the steps required to make it. LR took this on board, and then (in her usual manner) decided to kick it up a notch — she’d invite her teacher over for dinner to eat it with us!
(early morning)
RJ: (whispering) LR… LR, wake up…. LR… Wake up, LR…
LR: What, RJ? What is it?
RJ: I put Mozy in my place next to Dad, where I was. Then I got out of bed.
LR: Shhhh… Good idea!
(a minute later)
Dad: (Yawning and stretching) Good morning, RJ!
(giggling from beside the bed)
Dad: Time to get up. Don’t lay around in bed all day.
(louder giggles)
Dad: It’s a school day today. Better get dressed!
(more giggles)
Dad: Wow, RJ, you’re feeling very fluffy this morning. Your entire face is fuzzy! I think it’s about time you started shaving.
(fits of laughter)
(later, while eating breakfast)
Dad: Come on RJ, eat up a bit faster please.
RJ: Mrrmmmummm mmmm.. Rrrrrmmmmummm oommmmmm…
Dad: I don’t speak mosasaur, RJ. You’ll have to translate.
RJ: Mrrrroomummmmoom… Only spinach… Roommmummmrmmm…
Dad: But I thought mosasaurs were carnivores… They ate fish and things like that…
RJ: Rooomummm… Not today… Mrrrrrmmmmm… On a diet….
(while eating breakfast)
RJ: Weather chip!
Dad: Whats a weather chip?
RJ: It all starts with a storm… A tornado... And if it goes over a farm you… get… a… Corn Tornado!
Dad: And that makes chips?
RJ: No. You need to have lightning too! Booooooom! Weather Chips!
RJ: … But not in Bali. In Bali they get rice crackers — because they grow rice there.
(a minute or two later, the singing starts)
Dad: Which chip?
RJ: Weather chip!
Dad: What chip?
RJ: Weather chip!
Dad: Chip ship?
RJ: Weather chip!
Dad: Where the chip?
RJ: Weather chip!
RJ: (deviously) I’m going to teach that to the Smarties at school. They dont know anything… Except kitchens — because that’s all they have to play with over there.
(while cooking dinner at Rottnest)
RJ: (grabs a piece of uncooked spaghetti) Hey Dad. (crunch, crunch) What does this sound like? (crunch, crunch, crunch)
Dad: I dunno… Crunching?
RJ: Yes, but crunching what?
Dad: Umm… Crunching sticks? Bones?
RJ: Good… gooooood…
RJ: (grabs nearly-empty packet of uncooked spaghetti) Can I have these bits of pasta?
Dad: Sure thing. What for?
RJ: A secret project…
(5 minutes later while carrying dinner to a friend’s at Rottnest, RJ runs off into a dark alleyway.)
Dad: RJ! Come back!
RJ: (Silence…)
Dad: RJ! This stuff is hot and heavy and I don’t want to drop it. I need you to come back RIGHT NOW.
RJ: (Distant crunching noises… then a sudden explosion of rustling and snapping leaves and twigs) YEAH HAAAHAAHAA! IT WORKS!
RJ: (Excitedly runs around the corner) It works! It works!!!
Dad: What? What works?
RJ: The quokkas are terrified of me! Especially when I run up and make bone crunching noises at them!
RJ: (Triumphant) They think I’m a predator!
(while eating breakfast)
RJ: What if everything was made of rice bubbles? It would be great, we could eat anything!
Dad: Yeah, but you can’t survive on just rice bubbles. There’s not enough protein or vitamins.
RJ: Hmmm….
RJ: What if everything in the world was made of rice bubbles…. and bacon?
Dad: Deliciously awesome. That would work much better, but wouldn’t everything fall apart?
RJ: Hmmm….
RJ: What if everything in the world was made of rice bubbles…. and bacon… and peanut butter sandwiches?
Dad: That probably fixes everything!
RJ: Except roads.
Dad: I don’t know… PB sandwiches get pretty hard when they’re stale…
RJ: Good thinking, Dad! Bacon wheels rolling on peanut butter sandwich roads! We’ll need those!
Dad: Why?
RJ: So the trucks can get through!
Dad: The trucks?
RJ: It is going to get so messy when it rains. The trucks are going to have to come through to clean up. Floods are going to be a big problem.
