Crumpled Home

(while eating breakfast)

LR: Dad, now my other foot is hurting.

Dad: From yesterday, on the trampoline? Not a good sign. You know what they do with horses when they break a leg or seriously hurt themselves?

LR: No?

Dad: They shoot them.

LR: You can’t shoot me!

Dad: I know. We’ll come up with another plan instead.

RJ: How about we just build a pyramid and bury her inside with some slaves and some of those beetles?

Dad: Nice idea. We can leave the cat in there too!

LR: Noooooo!

Dad: How about we find her a job where she doesn’t have to walk around much?

RJ: Why don’t we cover her in honey, and stand her in the corner so that all the flies and mosquitoes stick to her.

Dad: Great idea!

LR: Nooooo!

RJ: Okay then. We don’t have a choice. We’ll have to put her on a boat with all her weapons and set her on fire.

Dad: I’ve always loved a good Viking burial!

LR: But… But… But, I don’t have a wife to burn with me, so you’d have to throw my best friend on there, and L.’s parents would be REALLY MAD if you did that!

(arriving home after going to the shops)

RJ: Whoah. Where is everyone?

Dad: No idea. I guess they aren’t back yet.

RJ: No. That can’t be right. They WERE back and then something went wrong…

RJ: … It was a fire! A huge fire! Smoke EVERYWHERE, filling the house! The alarms went off, and they ran outside!

RJ: … BUT THEY FORGOT THEIR PHONES! They must be driving, on the way to the fire station to let them know!

Dad: That must be it… And meanwhile, here we are, standing in a blazing building as the walls crumble down around us.

RJ: I know… It’s…. Terrible…

Each year, we invite a few friends up to the farm at Gingin to celebrate the winter solstice. After spending the day pruning the fruit trees and tending to the orchard, we fire up the pizza oven and serve a nearly endless stream of delicious homemade pizzas. We follow up by lighting a huge bonfire to brighten things up through the long night. It’s heaps of fun (despite things often going awry because of rainy weather).

Citrus is in season at the moment, and the trees are totally loaded with fruit. LR gets to work picking some mandarins. Delicious!

Continue reading

(RJ tells us all about another one of those creatures that only he seems to know about)

Feelay spiders are really good. They’re the friendly ones. They are bigger than your head and dig burrows and tunnels. They can jump a long way.

Some things eat them, but they have a secret weapon on their side… A hunter’s lair. Lizards eat them, but only after they have been cooked in a fire so they are safe to eat.

One day, a big forest fire came and burned everything until it was black and grey, then the fire went out…

THEN the lizard ate all the spiders.

(LR had an emergency services officer visit her school yesterday)

LR: I know when to call the emergency number.

Dad: Oh yeah? How about a test?

LR: Okay!

Dad: If someone gets hit by a car?

LR: Call them!

Dad: If we can’t find your bike helmet?

LR: Don’t call them!

Dad: If there’s a tree falling on the house?

LR: Call them!

Dad: If the house is on fire?

LR: Call them!

Dad: If there’s a cat stuck in the tree?

LR: Don’t call them…

Unless the tree is falling on the house!