Crumpled Home

It’s a little quiet at home right now. LR is away at horse riding camp and the normal level of intensity at our place has dropped a bit – although only a little bit, the RJ reality distortion field is still fully operational.

Pony camp is an amazing place — I get all fluttery just thinking about it — a magical land where you spend all day riding horses, cleaning and scrubbing horses, feeding horses, and (be still my beating heart) shoveling horse manure and cleaning out stalls. Mom insists that this is little girl heaven, but I’m not totally convinced.

For the first time in her life, she has ‘her own’ mobile phone with her (it’s a spare that we’ve borrowed from Poppa for the week). We told her it’s just for emergencies or if something goes wrong and she needs to talk to us. After giving her one or two instructions on how to use it, we carefully put it in her backpack and waved goodbye.

Five hours later, while deep in the middle of one of my projects,  I was interrupted by an unexpected phone call… from LR and a room full of 7 year old girls suffering some kind of ‘emergency’ involving a large amount of giggling. Apparently, she had to test to see if the phone was still working properly…

Regardless, I’m looking forward to having her back when she gets home… as long as she leaves her boots outside.

Just before she left, she drew this on the fridge for us.

The fridge cow will keep you company while LR is away.

Dad: No watching… It’s a school night. Bedtime, Mister!

RJ: But Mom said I could watch a movie!

Dad: Yeah, on the weekend, not for tonight. Move!

RJ: (threatening) If you don’t let me, then I’ll be the… Distressed Parrot.

Dad: Then I’m just going to have to deal with a distressed parrot then.

RJ: (in very loud parrot voice) Distress! No one’s getting the damsel! Arawwk! Danger Alert! Princess is in distress! Damsel in distress! Emergency! Panic!

(Getting ready for the day)

Dad: RJ! Head upstairs, get out of your pajamas and get your clothes on, please!

(5 minutes later)

Dad: RJ! Time to get dressed… We’ve got to go out in a few minutes! Go! throw some shorts and a t-shirt on!

(5 minutes later)

Dad: RJ! You’re still in your pajamas? Upstairs and get dressed, now!

RJ: (sullenly walks upstairs) Oooo-kay.

(5 minutes later, Dad heads upstairs to help RJ finish getting ready, only to discover him spread-eagled on his bedroom floor in only his underwear.)

Dad: RJ! We’ve got to go! Why are you lying on the floor? What happened???

RJ: An emergency! Catastrophic climate change! I wasn’t ready!

(LR had an emergency services officer visit her school yesterday)

LR: I know when to call the emergency number.

Dad: Oh yeah? How about a test?

LR: Okay!

Dad: If someone gets hit by a car?

LR: Call them!

Dad: If we can’t find your bike helmet?

LR: Don’t call them!

Dad: If there’s a tree falling on the house?

LR: Call them!

Dad: If the house is on fire?

LR: Call them!

Dad: If there’s a cat stuck in the tree?

LR: Don’t call them…

Unless the tree is falling on the house!