Aug 10 2011

Insert lame joke here

(while eating breakfast)

LR: Dad, now my other foot is hurting.

Dad: From yesterday, on the trampoline? Not a good sign. You know what they do with horses when they break a leg or seriously hurt themselves?

LR: No?

Dad: They shoot them.

LR: You can’t shoot me!

Dad: I know. We’ll come up with another plan instead.

RJ: How about we just build a pyramid and bury her inside with some slaves and some of those beetles?

Dad: Nice idea. We can leave the cat in there too!

LR: Noooooo!

Dad: How about we find her a job where she doesn’t have to walk around much?

RJ: Why don’t we cover her in honey, and stand her in the corner so that all the flies and mosquitoes stick to her.

Dad: Great idea!

LR: Nooooo!

RJ: Okay then. We don’t have a choice. We’ll have to put her on a boat with all her weapons and set her on fire.

Dad: I’ve always loved a good Viking burial!

LR: But… But… But, I don’t have a wife to burn with me, so you’d have to throw my best friend on there, and L.’s parents would be REALLY MAD if you did that!

Giza pyramids area


Aug 4 2010

So… What have the Romans ever done for us?

(while eating dinner)

RJ: I’d like to thank somebody tonight. I’d like to thank the Romans… for inventing toilets.

RJ: THANK YOU ROMANS!

(LR, Mum and Dad): Thank you Romans!

Dad: They invented plumbing and running water in houses too.

… a few moments later …

RJ: I’d like to thank somebody tonight. I’d like to thank the Romans again… for inventing running water!

RJ: THANK YOU ROMANS!

LR, Mum and Dad: (groaning) Thank you Romans!

… a few minutes later …

RJ: I’d like to thank somebody else tonight. I’d like to thank the Egyptians! For inventing paper!

(LR, Mum and Dad): ARRGGGHH!!

Centurion