Crumpled Home

(Everyone in the family has the flu and no one is sleeping well.)

RJ: (whispering) The clock… It says it’s after 4 now… It says, “Four, two, seven.” … Can we get up now?

Dad: RJ! How many times do I have to tell you? You have to wait until the clock says six… Maybe five, but four is WAY too early. Lay there and try to get back to sleep. Make up stories or something.

RJ: O-kay…

(A few minutes pass, then Dad feels something crawl across his back… RJ’s voice quietly drifts across the bed…)

Pirate Patchy: Hi there Mr Ghost Light. How are you today?

Mr Ghost Light: Not good Patchy. It’s a bad day today.

Pirate Patchy: Why’s that Ghosty?

Mr Ghost Light: Today is the day that all the lights die.

Pirate Patchy: Oh no! That’s terrible!

Mr Ghost Light: I know, but it just has to happen. Oh no! It’s going to happen now! Five, four, three, two, one… *click*

(RJ switches off his nightlight.)

Pirate Patchy: No! Mr Ghost Light! Noooo! Waaaaahhhhhh… (crying noises) This is… the worst day… ever…

(quietly muttering to himself as he falls to sleep during a rainstorm)

RJ: All those oats… Falling, falling down… burning oats falling down.

RJ: The gods are angry and they’ve opened the oats and now they throw them down…

RJ: Tomorrow, its going to be a big mess… Oatmeal everywhere.

(discussing dreams over breakfast)

LR: I had a nice dream last night… I had a tea party with a polar bear and a penguin. They didn’t eat each other, but we did end up going over a waterfall together.

(discussing nightmares over breakfast)

RJ: My dream was about robot emus. They were really scary because they could run faster than me.
Dad: Whoah. That sounds awful!
RJ: Yes. They had guns on them on too.
Dad: Did you have a way to stop them, or to get away?
RJ: I found out that when you put toothpaste in their eyes, it kills them.
Dad: So you killed them and escaped?
RJ: No! They came back to life! They turned into zombie robot emus!