Crumpled Home » dinner

Sarcasm doesn’t become you

Luke — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 03:07:41 +0000

(while eating dinner)

RJ: Mom let me get a comic from the box without doing anything extra.

Dad: Well I’m not Mum. You only have to do two thank-you cards to get one.

RJ: So tomorrow I’ll just sit down and then I’ll do two whole cards and then I’ll go and get a comic.

Dad: Yep. I’m glad you understand and you’re not complaining about it.

RJ: (grumpily) Hmmph. That was NOT enthusiasm, Dad.

I will do anything for lunch… but I wont do that.

Luke — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 03:07:30 +0000

(while eating dinner)

RJ: Mom, did you know that I’ll eat crustaceans now.

Mom: Really? That’s good.

RJ: And I’ll eat fish, birds and mammals, too.

Mom: Uh huh.

RJ: But I will NOT eat amphibians or reptiles, so don’t even go there.

Perils of the playground

Luke — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 03:07:18 +0000

(while eating dinner)

Dad: So what happened to you guys at school today?

(silence)

Dad: Really! Something must have happened!

(crickets chirping)

RJ: Well! You are totally not going to believe this.

RJ: (puts down his fork and becomes quite dramatic and intense)

Today, we were playing at lunch time. There were four of us, me, L. and the other guys and we went back by the Sheddies. You know where they’re doing the building? Past there, past the edge of the concrete.

(pauses)

We decided to dig a hole. A big hole.

(motions digging with his hands)

We started digging. It got deep. Really deep.

(excitedly) We kept on digging and digging, deeper and deeper. We were digging like crazy, making this huge hole!

We kept digging and all of a sudden there was a flash along the bottom of the hole! WHOAH! SCALES. We saw SCALES!

(suddenly stops)

Do you know what it was?

Can you guess?

Dad: No idea… A fish?

RJ: (glares at Dad)

(channelling Steve Irwin) It was a SNAKE, it was in the bottom of the hole and it was a big one! (holding up hands showing the size) We couldn’t believe it!

Dad: Wow! A snake? At your school?

RJ: I know. It was REALLY exciting.

Dad: So… Did you tell someone? Perhaps a teacher?

RJ: No. We didn’t want everyone to freak out. It would just ruin their day…

RJ: Anyway, that’s not what you do when you see a snake. You just, “Say G’day, and walk away.” and that’s exactly what we did.

If you can’t trust the cook…

Luke — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 03:07:50 +0000

(while eating dinner)

RJ: (after carefully studying his plate for a minute, spears a mushroom on his fork and holds it up) Is this a safe one?

Mom: Yes. It’s definitely safe.

RJ: Well… How do you know?

Mom: Because we bought it at the shops and they only sell edible mushrooms there.

RJ: What kind is it?

Mom: It’s just a normal button mushroom. Eat it!

RJ: (quiet pause) Here Mum, just have a little bite. Tell me what you think.

Mom: No, RJ. I will not be your personal food tester. Five year olds aren’t at risk of assassination.

RJ: (turns to Dad) Dad?

Dad: (sighing) If I must…

(Dad puts the mushroom into his mouth, chews for a moment, then dramatically falls to the floor, clutching throat, moaning, gurgling and convulsing, then becomes still. RJ cheers and starts jumping on his back… until Dad gives in and returns to the table.)

Mom: RJ, sit down and EAT!

Mom: (turning to Dad) Nice example, honey.

Dad: I know, I know. Totally inappropriate… Parenting FAIL, but dramatic overacting WIN!

Nuts about religion

Luke — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 03:07:05 +0000

(while eating dinner)

RJ: Can I have some more lamb, please?

Mom: Eat some salad first. You haven’t even eaten any pine nuts, and you love those.

RJ: I can’t eat that!

Mom: Why not?

RJ: Because that pine nut is the God of Victory! I’m still praying to him.

Mom: Well you’re not getting anything else to eat until you eat those.

LR: Don’t worry about that one, RJ, there’s about twenty more gods on your plate right there… I’ve eaten all the gods on my plate, and they were great!

Dad: So what have your gods done for you lately, RJ?

RJ: Well… They helped me at the beach today?

Dad: Really? How?

RJ: I didn’t get eaten by a shark! They kept all the sharks away.

Dad: Good point. I guess they kept all the thunderstorms and earthquakes away too.

RJ: (Bows head and prays to the pine nut). Yep. They’re powerful and delicious. (chomp)

December 2011, Photo Wrap-Up

Luke — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 03:07:47 +0000

With a huge overseas vacation looming, the first half of December was filled with the last days of the school year, some early Christmas celebrations… and a lot of silly hats.

December means the Advent calendar gets brought out. We like to pretend the kids appreciate the tradition and fun puzzles and clues that we leave in there for them...

It's RJ's job to read the clues this year. LR was surprisingly patient.

Oh no! The end-of-year music "party" turns out to be an impromptu concert and no one will volunteer to go first. RJ steps up and breaks the ice with a few of his favorites.

Three songs later, RJ has the room in stitches, finishing his performance with a flourish in classic RJ style.

LR volunteers to play a few of her favorite songs too. Beethoven FTW!

LR won one of the three coveted prizes for the students who improved the most during the year. Well done, LR! You deserve it!

The last game of the year (but not the season). RJ's teeball skills (and patience with fielding) are improving with every game.

Everyone works together building the gingerbread house. For some reason, only about half the materials make it into the construction -- there must be some dodgy contractors on the worksite.

Nice work guys! The finished gingerbread house looks terrific!

Because we went away for Christmas, we had an early Christmas dinner at Grammy and Poppa's.

LR takes the time to read the cards before tearing into the presents.

Thanks Grammy!

Careful there Auntie Jess. It's not safe to get between RJ and his Hero Factory legos. Just carefully put it back on the table and you'll be okay.

Parental win: the kids actually remembered their manners without prompting this year! Now if only we could get them to stop picking their noses.

Christmas dinner. A time for family, a huge feast, and the opportunity to wear ridiculous things on your head...

RJ got first pick of the hats and picked out the crustacean for himself and a spicy little number for Grandma Dot.

LR picks out her favorite, complete with spring-loaded pom-pom action -- essential for tormenting younger brothers.

Everyone helps out during the final rush to the kitchen, delivering the food to the table.

Crumbly destruction and delicious, sugary mahem ensue as the gingerbread house is attacked!

An important lesson learned... Never, EVER let the kids pick the hat for you or you will end up looking silly.

Make your own cheese? No whey!

Luke — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 03:07:50 +0000

(while eating dinner)

Mom: So RJ, what was your most favorite thing that you did today?

RJ: Well… I made some cheese! I took some flowers and some water and a bunch of string and mixed it all up in a cheesy way.

Dad: Whoah! What kind of crazy cheese is that?

LR: I know! String cheese!

It’s hard to be sad when it tastes so good

Luke — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 03:07:15 +0000

(a discussion over dinner)

LR: When I die, I don’t think I want to be burned up.

Mom: At that point though, it doesn’t matter. You can’t feel anything, because you’re not alive. The body isn’t you any more.

LR: What about you, Mom? What do you want?

Mom: I think I want to be cremated, and then you can take my ashes and spread them somewhere that I love where you can go to remember me.

RJ: I know where that is! Koko Black!

(Koko Black is a high-end chocolatier that recently opened a “salon” in Perth… Apparently, luxury chocolatiers don’t have shops or stores…)

We love our teachers

Luke — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 03:07:18 +0000

LR stirs the sauce and takes a look to make sure it's simmering nicely.

A couple of weeks ago, LR’s teacher gave the class an assignment. Cook some food and document the procedure, including ingredients and all the steps required to make it. LR took this on board, and then (in her usual manner) decided to kick it up a notch — she’d invite her teacher over for dinner to eat it with us!

After considering her options (and rejecting her favorite food, lasagna, for being too easy), she settled on home-made ravioli with puttanesca sauce, from scratch. Preparations began several days ago, with the sauce prepared in advance and the ravioli made the day before.

RJ got caught up in the excitement and decided he needed to invite his teacher along too. He took care of the desert, a delicious berry and rhubarb crumble.

Their teachers came over and were just fantastic. The kids were jumping out of their skins the whole time; a pair of whirling dervishes flying through the house showing them every part of their life at home: the collections of bones and dead things, art projects, gymnastics demonstrations on the couch and their home made movies. The teachers played along and the meal was excellent.

What a great time! Fantastic job kids!

LR tests the sauce... Her verdict, "DELICIOUS!!!"

LR mixes up the fresh spinach and ricotta filling for the ravioli.

After preparing the dough and letting it sit for a couple of minutes, it's time to roll it out into sheets.

LR lays out the ravioli filling and prepares to put them together.

It’s the other, other white meat…

Luke — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 03:07:25 +0000

(while cooking dinner at Rottnest)

RJ: (grabs a piece of uncooked spaghetti) Hey Dad. (crunch, crunch) What does this sound like? (crunch, crunch, crunch)

Dad: I dunno… Crunching?

RJ: Yes, but crunching what?

Dad: Umm… Crunching sticks? Bones?

RJ: Good… gooooood…

RJ: (grabs nearly-empty packet of uncooked spaghetti) Can I have these bits of pasta?

Dad: Sure thing. What for?

RJ: A secret project…

(5 minutes later while carrying dinner to a friend’s at Rottnest, RJ runs off into a dark alleyway.)

Dad: RJ! Come back!

RJ: (Silence…)

Dad: RJ! This stuff is hot and heavy and I don’t want to drop it. I need you to come back RIGHT NOW.

RJ: (Distant crunching noises… then a sudden explosion of rustling and snapping leaves and twigs) YEAH HAAAHAAHAA! IT WORKS!

RJ: (Excitedly runs around the corner) It works! It works!!!

Dad: What? What works?

RJ: The quokkas are terrified of me! Especially when I run up and make bone crunching noises at them!

RJ: (Triumphant) They think I’m a predator!