Crumpled Home

Mum went off to camp to visit LR for the evening. RJ and I had a big afternoon playing secret agents, jumping on the trampoline, mucking about at the beach and having getting dinner at a restaurant.
Towards the end of the meal, RJ grabbed the drinks menu, opened it and started reading.

RJ: Hmmm… Look at that…

… That’s interesting.

… Wow. I didn’t know that!

Dad: RJ. What are you reading???

RJ: This magazine. They left it here for us.

Dad: What is it about?

RJ: All sorts of things. There is a story about a party that they had.

Dad: What kind of party?

RJ: Just a birthday party. It’s not very interesting.

Dad: Is there an interesting story in there?

RJ: Yes. It’s about dragons.

Dad: Cool. What does it say?

RJ: Dragons have enormous teeth and a big tail. Some of them live in the ocean. They have very sharp teeth and they eat meat… but not people meat.

Dad: What kind of meat do they eat?

RJ: Oh you know, sheep, cows and horses and stuff.

Dad: Anything else about dragons in there?

RJ: They have a picture of a knight who had to kill a dragon. It was very dangerous, but he had a sword and shield with him.

Dad: Why did he have to kill the dragon?

RJ: The king told him to. It was eating all the sheep and making the people mad. (goes back to reading the menu)

Dad: … Anything else in there?

RJ: No. That’s the end.

RJ can tell you a thing or two about dragons.

LR: Why did the elephant paint his feet yellow?

Because he wanted to hide upside down in the custard!

LR: Why did the elephant paint himself purple, with a green face?

Because he wanted to hide in the purple carrot patch!

RJ: Why was the ship missing?

Because the Kraken already smashed it!

LR: What is a slug?

A snail with a housing problem!

RJ: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

Mum: Why did the fish cross the playground?

To get to the other tide!

LR: Why did the cow jump over the moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands!

LR: What’s the scariest flower in the garden?

A dandelion!

Dad: What’s the scariest flower in the whole world?

A daisy. With a lion hiding behind it!

RJ: (singing) Old MacDonald had a farm. Eee eye eee eye oh!

And on that farm he had a cow. Eee eye eee eye oh!

With a moo-moo here, and a moo-moo there. Here a moo, there a moo everywhere a moo-moo.

Old MacDonald had a farm, Eee eye eee eye oh!

RJ: And after that he ate the pig and the sheep and the duck too!

Run fellas! Old Mac-D is on the way!

The latest on the Kraken, courtesy of RJ and his “Kraken Joke Book”.

Q: Why did the Kraken cross the ocean?

A: To go and eat a pot.

Q: Why did the Kraken have big teeth?

A: Because he was a carnivore.

Q: Why did the Kraken smash the ship?

A: Because he was the Master of the Ocean.

Q: Why did the Kraken jump over the moon?

A: Because he wanted to eat a cow!

Just another day in the life of a giant, destructive sea creature.