(while eating dinner)
LR: Here’s a trick, RJ. What animal is pork made from?
RJ: Cows?
LR: No. Pigs!
Dad: How about this one? What animal is beef made from?
LR: Pigs?
Dad: No.
LR: Cows?
Dad: Yes!
Dad: One more… What is venison?
RJ: Lion food!
We made an offer on a house… The owners accepted… Settlement is in 40 days… PANIC!
In the meantime, here it is. Purdy lil’ thang, aint it!
Hmmm... Those rose bushes may have to go...
The kids love the look of it even more than we do. They’ve decided to call it, “The Cow House.”
Is it time to moooove in yet?
Mum went off to camp to visit LR for the evening. RJ and I had a big afternoon playing secret agents, jumping on the trampoline, mucking about at the beach and having getting dinner at a restaurant.
Towards the end of the meal, RJ grabbed the drinks menu, opened it and started reading.
RJ: Hmmm… Look at that…
… That’s interesting.
… Wow. I didn’t know that!
Dad: RJ. What are you reading???
RJ: This magazine. They left it here for us.
Dad: What is it about?
RJ: All sorts of things. There is a story about a party that they had.
Dad: What kind of party?
RJ: Just a birthday party. It’s not very interesting.
Dad: Is there an interesting story in there?
RJ: Yes. It’s about dragons.
Dad: Cool. What does it say?
RJ: Dragons have enormous teeth and a big tail. Some of them live in the ocean. They have very sharp teeth and they eat meat… but not people meat.
Dad: What kind of meat do they eat?
RJ: Oh you know, sheep, cows and horses and stuff.
Dad: Anything else about dragons in there?
RJ: They have a picture of a knight who had to kill a dragon. It was very dangerous, but he had a sword and shield with him.
Dad: Why did he have to kill the dragon?
RJ: The king told him to. It was eating all the sheep and making the people mad. (goes back to reading the menu)
Dad: … Anything else in there?
RJ: No. That’s the end.
RJ can tell you a thing or two about dragons.
LR: Why did the elephant paint his feet yellow?
Because he wanted to hide upside down in the custard!
LR: Why did the elephant paint himself purple, with a green face?
Because he wanted to hide in the purple carrot patch!
RJ: Why was the ship missing?
Because the Kraken already smashed it!
LR: What is a slug?
A snail with a housing problem!
RJ: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
Mum: Why did the fish cross the playground?
To get to the other tide!
LR: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
LR: What’s the scariest flower in the garden?
A dandelion!
Dad: What’s the scariest flower in the whole world?
A daisy. With a lion hiding behind it!
RJ: (singing) Old MacDonald had a farm. Eee eye eee eye oh!
And on that farm he had a cow. Eee eye eee eye oh!
With a moo-moo here, and a moo-moo there. Here a moo, there a moo everywhere a moo-moo.
Old MacDonald had a farm, Eee eye eee eye oh!
RJ: And after that he ate the pig and the sheep and the duck too!
Run fellas! Old Mac-D is on the way!
The latest on the Kraken, courtesy of RJ and his “Kraken Joke Book”.
Q: Why did the Kraken cross the ocean?
A: To go and eat a pot.
Q: Why did the Kraken have big teeth?
A: Because he was a carnivore.
Q: Why did the Kraken smash the ship?
A: Because he was the Master of the Ocean.
Q: Why did the Kraken jump over the moon?
A: Because he wanted to eat a cow!
Just another day in the life of a giant, destructive sea creature.
