Crumpled Home

(Everyone in the family has the flu and no one is sleeping well.)

RJ: (whispering) The clock… It says it’s after 4 now… It says, “Four, two, seven.” … Can we get up now?

Dad: RJ! How many times do I have to tell you? You have to wait until the clock says six… Maybe five, but four is WAY too early. Lay there and try to get back to sleep. Make up stories or something.

RJ: O-kay…

(A few minutes pass, then Dad feels something crawl across his back… RJ’s voice quietly drifts across the bed…)

Pirate Patchy: Hi there Mr Ghost Light. How are you today?

Mr Ghost Light: Not good Patchy. It’s a bad day today.

Pirate Patchy: Why’s that Ghosty?

Mr Ghost Light: Today is the day that all the lights die.

Pirate Patchy: Oh no! That’s terrible!

Mr Ghost Light: I know, but it just has to happen. Oh no! It’s going to happen now! Five, four, three, two, one… *click*

(RJ switches off his nightlight.)

Pirate Patchy: No! Mr Ghost Light! Noooo! Waaaaahhhhhh… (crying noises) This is… the worst day… ever…

RJ made a rhinovirus this morning and took it to school for news.

His teacher met him at the door, and said “RJ! That’s lovely! Is it a sea urchin?” He said “No, it’s a rhinovirus. Those are protein spikes. They get in your nose and make you sneeze and cough. We all had them this weekend.”

It’s going to be a long 13 years of school…

RJ created his own rhinovirus, complete with protein spikes.