Crumpled Home » cockroaches

Nuke it from orbit… It’s the only way to be sure.

Luke — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 03:07:42 +0000

(while walking to lunch)

RJ: (excited) Dad. Stop here! I want to show you something!

Dad: Yeah? What’s up?

RJ: (pointing to ground) Right here. See? This metal plate. It’s a lid to something; you can open it!

Dad: Sure. I guess you could… but…

RJ: (starts struggling to lift heavy plate steel cover) Look! There are no nails or anything holding it down, you can just…

Dad: (worried about RJ’s fingers being crushed) Stop, RJ! Wait! Wait!… Arrgh… Okay, let me help.

(Dad decides it’s easier to help RJ lift the cover safely than to talk him out of it… revealing a dark hole filled with a crawling mass of hundreds of cockroaches and crickets, who decide to make a break for it out of the hole.)

RJ & Dad: ………. Yeeeaaarrrckk! …………..

(RJ wisely jumps back. Dad is left to slowly and carefully replace the heavy steel cover, while dodging the rush of panicked roaches that have decided his shoes would make a terrific new hiding place).

RJ: (freaking out) Dad! Who are we going to tell about this? What can we do?

Dad: What do you mean? It’s their home. They obviously love it there. We can just leave them alone.

RJ: (incredulous) Are you crazy, man?! They’ll keep growing in there and growing and growing! They’ll take over the whole city! All the shops! Everything!

Dad: RJ, calm down! Have a look over there — there’s another hole. I think I see one over there too and another over there. They’re all probably full of these guys, and they’ve been like this for ages.

RJ: This is a really big deal! I can’t believe you’re not doing anything!

Dad: It’s fine, mate. Really.

RJ: It is NOT fine! My favorite restaurant is right across the road!

It’s a miracle!

Luke — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:07:42 +0000

Roachy was looking very feeble that morning; on his back, legs stuck in the air, barely moving at all. RJ spent some time finding the right kind of tree bark “medicine” and carefully placing it next to Roachy. The rest of us had pretty much given up hope. Roachy was well on his way to becoming an ex-cockroach.

The next morning over breakfast, we held our breath as RJ carefully looked into the box. To our dismay surprise, we found Roachy happily perched on his piece of bark, antennae waving jauntily in greeting.

“He’s all better! He’ll need some food!” cried RJ.

After a healthy breakfast of lettuce, tomato and mushroom, Roachy was looking terrific. RJ declared him healed and we sent the two of them off together to school.

The teachers must be getting really, really sick of our ‘pets’.

Today we learn that roaches are TOUGH... After the apocalypse the only things that will survive... Cochroaches... Twinkies... and the remains of things held together with duct tape.

Career planning in arthropod pharmacology

Luke — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 03:07:22 +0000

(RJ has adopted a cockroach that he found outside. It was suspiciously easy to catch… This morning, over breakfast…)

RJ: I don’t think Roachy is sleeping. He just falls over a lot.

LR: He hasn’t fallen over. He’s dead.

RJ: No! He’s moving! See?

LR: I don’t think he’s feeling very good. Cockroaches aren’t meant to do that.

Dad: Hey guys… Yesterday, when I was spraying the outdoor area for redbacks, he might have gotten some of the spider poison on him. I don’t think it’s very good for cockroaches either.

RJ: (nearly in tears) BUT YOU SHOULDN’T DO THAT! YOU SHOULD JUST SPRAY THE SPIDERS.

LR: He’s dying. He’s going to die RJ. We should let him go.

RJ: No! We can’t do that. Roachy can’t walk very well. Something might eat him.

Dad: We can’t keep him, RJ. He’s like all our wild animal pets, we have to let them go after a while. They just aren’t happy inside.

LR: What if we put him in the front yard?

RJ: No. He can’t hide. See? His legs don’t work properly. It wont be safe for him.

Dad: Can we put some mulch or something in the box with him? He’ll be happier then.

RJ: Yes! We CAN do that. And then we can make him some medicine, so he’ll get better.