Crumpled Home

The Perth Royal Show is held every year and is similar to the state fairs that take place across the US. It’s generally focused on agriculture and regional Australia (with prizes awarded for the best livestock), but also includes a lot of rides, junk food and … showbags.

Showbags are generally themed and have 5-15 different toys, gadgets and other bits of plastic junk relating to that theme. We like to think we’re doing our very important part to support the Chinese economy. The kids spend a lot of time agonising over which bag to get; comparing the contents, considering the utility and evaluting the coolness factor. They’re fully aware, however, that the chocolate and candy bags are totally off limits.

We had another reason for visiting the show this year: LR had two of her photographs accepted into the photographic exhibition. It was a big accomplishment; only the best photos make it in, and she was competing with high school kids, too!

This year, we visited two times: once during the day, and a follow-up visit in the evening to see the excellent fireworks with Grammy, Poppa and the Melbourne cousins, PA and MS.

Well, we're here guys. What should we do first?

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(bedtime)

Dad: Time to calm down and get to sleep, RJ.

RJ: Like a chicken?

Dad: Like a big chicken.

RJ: Like a big chicken that is rampaging around and destroying the city?

Dad: Yes, RJ. Exactly like that. Good night!

Dad: Thanks for helping carry stuff out to the car, LR.

LR: No. problem. But. I. am. not. LR.

Dad: You’re… a robot?

LR: Yes. No. I. am. a. chicken.

Dad: You’re a chicken robot?

LR: No. I. am. a. chicken.

Dad: You’re a robot, pretending to be a chicken?

LR: Yes. I. am. a. chicken.

Dad: Do you like chickens for some reason, robot?

LR: No. I. hate. chickens.

Dad: So you’re a robot that hates chickens, pretending to be a chicken? What on Earth for?

LR: So. I. can. get. into. the. chicken. coop. Obviously. they. do. not. let. robots. in.

Dad: And why would a chicken hating robot want to get into a chicken coop?

LR: It. is. the. only. way. to. defeat. them. I. will. fight. them. while. they. sleep.

(LR wanders off, as I wonder if I’ve confused her for RJ… and what on earth is wrong with our children.)

(while eating breakfast)

RJ: (in bizarre scientist voice) I have created an amazing invention.

Dad: What’s that?

RJ: CHEEECKEN LEEPS!

Dad: Chicken lips?

RJ: YEEEES. Cheecken leeeps!

Dad: Okay. So what are chicken lips good for?

RJ: Cheeckens around the world are happy…
Because now…
They can eat…
SANDWICHES!!!!

Dad: Fantastic!

RJ: Also! Now they say, “Banana chip!” all the time.
Baaaanaaaanaaaa CHIP!

LR: Why did the elephant paint his feet yellow?

Because he wanted to hide upside down in the custard!

LR: Why did the elephant paint himself purple, with a green face?

Because he wanted to hide in the purple carrot patch!

RJ: Why was the ship missing?

Because the Kraken already smashed it!

LR: What is a slug?

A snail with a housing problem!

RJ: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

Mum: Why did the fish cross the playground?

To get to the other tide!

LR: Why did the cow jump over the moon?

Because the farmer had cold hands!

LR: What’s the scariest flower in the garden?

A dandelion!

Dad: What’s the scariest flower in the whole world?

A daisy. With a lion hiding behind it!