Crumpled Home

RJ: For Christmas, I want to get my own cat, so I don’t have to share Violet.

Mom: No, RJ. We’ve got one cat and we just share her.

RJ: But I don’t like sharing!

Dad: Why don’t we each pick one part of the cat that we don’t have to share?

Dad: You can have the legs, and LR can have the tail.

LR: Yay! I love her tail!

Dad: Mom can have the head and I’ll have the fuzzy, fuzzy belly. Awwww so cute and fuzzy fuzzy fuzzy and just so fluffy fluffy fluffy.

RJ: But I don’t want just a pair of cat legs! A chopped off pair of cat legs? That’s just gross!!! Dad! Chopping up the cat is a terrible idea!

LR: Do cats need to eat anything except meat?

Mom: Well, they’re obligate carnivores, which means they have to eat some meat to survive. They can’t process plants and get all the nutrients they need that way.

(RJ suddenly joins the conversation, hijacks it, and manages to drive it into the sun)

RJ: (speaking a mile a minute) Cats are carnivores. But do you know what? Dogs are carnivores too. They LOVE meat. They’ll eat meat all the time. Our dog, Scarlet? She loves to eat meat. She even loves hunting, especially around Easter time… She hunts rabbits.

(while eating breakfast, the cat is sitting on the chair in front of the kitchen computer)

RJ: No kitty. No more searching…  Dad! She’s typing into Google again!

Dad: What? What is she searching for now?

RJ: “Will… I… catch… a… bird… today?” Uggh! Kitty! You’re not an outside cat!

Dad: Bad cat! No more Google for you!

RJ: Do you know what is really bad? I saw her watching Youtube last night. She was watching videos about catching birds.

Dad: That cat has no shame!

RJ: I know! And then she went on wikipedia and was searching for endangered species!

Dad: I never thought it would come to this… I guess it’s time to change the password.

RJ: Pick something harder this time.

(RJ watching the cat slink around under the playroom table.)

RJ: Violet Kitty is exploring under the ocean… But she’s got to be careful… It’s not safe down there…

RJ: She’s stepping forward and… Look! She’s discovered new life! Violet Kitty is a scientist exploring under the ocean!

(Violet finds something and starts sniffing it.)

RJ: Oh no! No! Violet! Stop! Don’t eat it! (sighs)

RJ: (turns to Dad) Violet Kitty is not an undersea explorer after all… She was just hungry.

We’ve looked, but we can’t find this one anywhere.

Click to enlarge.

Last Friday, RJ took a little time off with Grammy to make a new cuddly animal.

The result: Cuddle Cat (name pending review).

RJ decided Cuddle Cat needed a disguise… something that no one would think of.

Introducing Cuddle Cat, as his secret identity... Cuddle Cat.

I think he nailed it.

While we were away for half of July (pictures coming soon, promise!), we were just as busy through the rest of it. American Independence Day rolled around and we invited the family over for hamburgers and sparklers. Dad got to stand outside and grill the burgers in the cold, rainy winter weather and ponder how to get some ‘real’ fireworks into the country. There was a disco for the end of the term at school — apparently costumes were NOT optional. Finally, Dad and RJ rocked out at the AC-DC exhibition at the WA Museum.

Grammy gets some sparklers lit while RJ... Hang on a minute! HEY RJ! STOP TRYING TO SET THE LAWN ON FIRE!

Continue reading

(RJ runs in from outside)

RJ: It’s not good, Dad! Our family has some BIG problems.

Dad: What do you mean?

RJ: Well, I tried to lay the cat down in the dog’s bed.

Dad: No luck?

RJ: She just wont stay in there. She does NOT like it.

Dad: Maybe it’s the smell or something. Weird.

RJ: Yeah! And when I put her in, the dog started freaking out and got out of the bed too! Our family does NOT get along.

(while glueing an ostrich egg back together, broken by Violet MiaowMix)

RJ: It’s a good thing that egg wasn’t fertilized!

Mum: I know!

RJ: It’s a REALLY good thing that egg wasn’t fertilized.

Mum: Why’s that?

RJ: Because then we’d have a baby ostrich running around in here…. and it would be running around everywhere, and the cat would be freaking out, and it would be chasing the cat, and the cat would be going “Miaow miaow,” and the ostrich would going “Chirp chirp cluck,” and everything would be going CRAZY!

We survived our massive annual Halloween ordeal party. Last year’s party was talked about at school for the whole year, so this year’s was heavily anticipated. From apple bobbing, to treasure hunts, a nigh-invulnerable piñata, to a wet and soggy caveman, we had all the major attractions.

This year, however, we decided not to do the haunted garage. Too many kids came out of that one completely freaked out and crying… Next year, however… MWAAAAHAAHAAAAHAAA… Look out kids!!!!

It was a dark and stormy... err... bright and spooky afternoon in the park that day. Jim decided to hang out at the slide; his diet had been a huge success!

Continue reading