RJ: Scarlet’s feet are clicking… Click click click.

Dad: Is that a problem?

RJ: Yes. It reminds me of giant spiders walking around the house… Giant spiders that eat people.

Dad: Maybe we could train one. We could have it as a pet!

RJ: No. That’s not a good idea.

Dad: Why not?

RJ: Because Grammy doesn’t mind little spiders, but she would be scared of a giant spider and she would freak out.

Dad: Fair enough. Can’t say I’d blame her.

RJ: Daddy, do you know how to make rice bubble glass?

Dad: Nope. You tell me.

RJ: First you get rice bubbles, but only the really clean ones. Then you heat them up so they’re very hot and they melt. Then you cool it down slowly and then you have rice bubble glass!

Dad: That’s great! What can you use it for?

RJ: You can make rice bubble bottles to put perfume in. They’re very nice.

RJ: … and you can also throw them at bad guys. They’re allergic to rice bubbles.

(In Australia, Rice Krispies are called Rice Bubbles. Same company, same box, and same trio of little guys helping to sell it.)

Love Mum & Dad.

LR turns six today, and she's got of LOT of things planned.

RJ: My dream was about robot emus. They were really scary because they could run faster than me.
Dad: Whoah. That sounds awful!
RJ: Yes. They had guns on them on too.
Dad: Did you have a way to stop them, or to get away?
RJ: I found out that when you put toothpaste in their eyes, it kills them.
Dad: So you killed them and escaped?
RJ: No! They came back to life! They turned into zombie robot emus!

Mum: (to Lorian) RJ and I need to go buy a birthday present for your friend.

LR: How about something from the horse shop?

Mum: Good idea!

RJ: How about something from the Indonesian Shop? They have lots of things and even horse stuff. It is expensive.

Mum: What do they have there?

RJ: Toy horses… and ones you can paint… You can even get food there! Like bagels, giant pretzels, juice… and almond dessert!

(For the record, we have never been to or even heard of an Indonesian shop, but it does sound pretty cool!)

RJ: I really want a pet angler fish.

Dad: There’s a problem. They’re really only happy when there’s thousands of pounds of pressure on them, and an aquarium that could do that would be very expensive and big.

RJ: Maybe we could change the fish somehow.

Dad: Like what, change its DNA and genes or something?

RJ: Yeah! Give it new genes!

Dad: What genes would you add?

RJ: Frog genes. Then it could be an angler fish with jumping legs!

… Is anyone else terrified by the idea of a 1.5 metre semi-amphibious predatory angler fish? I have visions of them lurking around coastal areas and leaping on unsuspecting swimmers.

LR: What’s a Wampa, again?

Dad: It’s a big hairy thing, like a yeti. He was busy looking for something, and the Wampa came up behind him and…

RJ: (yelling) YETIS DO NOT HAVE FUR!

Dad: (surprised) What? Yes they do. They’re snow creatures; they need to keep warm.

LR: Yeah! Like artic foxes and polar bears!

RJ: THEY ARE NOT HAIRY! They just aren’t!

Dad: But most animals in cold climates need fur to keep warm.

RJ: Listen… When I was little, I saw a whole movie about it called “Yetis Alive“, and they don’t have fur!

Dad & LR: But…

RJ: You don’t know anything about this! They have snow berries to keep them warm!

Dad: Okay, fair enough… Yetis don’t have fur…

Dad: (turning back to LR) So, Wampas are just like Yetis… except they’re covered in fur.

Dad: So guys, what should we get mum for Mother’s Day?

LR: I’ve already made something for her at school!

RJ: So did I!

Dad: Great! So what about something from all of us?

RJ: We should get her a toy because grown-ups like toys.

Dad: Umm… Sure. Got anything in mind?

RJ: How about… a toy goat!

RJ: (Pokes spoon between Dad’s fingers and starts twisting… Twist… twist…)

Dad: (Ignores him)

RJ: (Continues with the next gap between fingers… Twist… twist…)

Dad: RJ. What are you doing???

RJ: I’m taking you apart. I have to remove your fingers first.

Dad: What!? Why are you taking me apart? What did I do?

RJ: I created you, so I can take you apart.

Dad: Am I a robot or something?

RJ: Yes. I created you, but you turned out evil. I have to take you apart and rebuild you.

Dad: I hope you get it right this time.