Crumpled Home

Towards the end of last year, LR decided she wanted to help some endangered species in whatever way she could. She remembered our local zoo has an orangutan conservation and breeding program with several large, well designed enclosures, and decided that donating money to their program would be a great way to make a difference.

Her idea was to hold an art show where kids at her school could donate two dollars to enter. In return, they would get a certificate and also a chance to win a huge jar of lollies. She hung several of these signs around the school and recruited a few of her friends to help collect money during their lunch breaks.

LR printed out these posters and hung them around the school.

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(reading before school)

RJ: So… Why are they called hedgehogs anyway?

Dad: Well, there used to be lots of different sorts… Hedgehogs, bushhogs, treehogs, sandhogs… You get the idea. But they all went extinct.

RJ: DAD!

…

RJ: (reading) “… Some hedgehogs live in the dessert…”

Dad: Careful. It’s DESERT with one ‘S’. You know, the dry place with lots of sand.

RJ: (deliberately ignores Dad and continues) “…There are people who lick hedgehogs and leave food for them at night…”

Dad: RJ, It’s LIKE, not LICK. You know that one.

RJ: But if they live in the dessert, they must be pretty tasty. I would lick them too.

The Perth Royal Show is held every year and is similar to the state fairs that take place across the US. It’s generally focused on agriculture and regional Australia (with prizes awarded for the best livestock), but also includes a lot of rides, junk food and … showbags.

Showbags are generally themed and have 5-15 different toys, gadgets and other bits of plastic junk relating to that theme. We like to think we’re doing our very important part to support the Chinese economy. The kids spend a lot of time agonising over which bag to get; comparing the contents, considering the utility and evaluting the coolness factor. They’re fully aware, however, that the chocolate and candy bags are totally off limits.

We had another reason for visiting the show this year: LR had two of her photographs accepted into the photographic exhibition. It was a big accomplishment; only the best photos make it in, and she was competing with high school kids, too!

This year, we visited two times: once during the day, and a follow-up visit in the evening to see the excellent fireworks with Grammy, Poppa and the Melbourne cousins, PA and MS.

Well, we're here guys. What should we do first?

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Part of being married to a biologist…

 Never asking why there is a pig carcass stored in the garage.

(just before bed)

RJ: But wait, Dad! I have to show you something!

Dad: Okay… What is it?

RJ: (holding up a toy seahorse and a fish) Look at this. I put a tiny hole in the seahorse right here. That’s because it’s where the parasite fish gets in. It swims in through the hole and then up through the neck and into the seahorse’s brain. Then it lives in there and makes the seahorse do whatever it likes. After a long time, the seahorse dies and the fish goes and finds another one… And that’s a real creature! They really do that!

RJ: … But usually it’s a fish, not a seahorse.

Dad: Desperate times, eh?

RJ: Yeah. He was really desperate.

(while eating breakfast)

RJ: I’ve figured it out, Dad.

Dad: What’s that?

RJ: A rat trap! We just need an apple and a large glass pot. We put it outside and when we see the rat go in, we put some paper over the top and he wont be able to get out! They don’t have hands!

Dad: Great idea, but why on Earth do we want to catch a rat?

RJ: Because Mom hates them… and…

Dad: And what?

RJ: My friend L. at school wants one… He really liked my baby rat in a jar.*

Dad: He wants a rat in a jar, too?

RJ: Yeah, but it’s okay. I’ll sell it to him, and maybe I can sell them to other people, too!

** A few weeks ago, RJ found a dead baby rat outside — probably one of Violet Miaowmix’s recent victims. It now sits in a place of honour on the shelf in his room, preserved in a (VERY WELL SEALED) jar full of alcohol.

Last Friday, RJ took a little time off with Grammy to make a new cuddly animal.

The result: Cuddle Cat (name pending review).

RJ decided Cuddle Cat needed a disguise… something that no one would think of.

Introducing Cuddle Cat, as his secret identity... Cuddle Cat.

I think he nailed it.

Dad: No watching… It’s a school night. Bedtime, Mister!

RJ: But Mom said I could watch a movie!

Dad: Yeah, on the weekend, not for tonight. Move!

RJ: (threatening) If you don’t let me, then I’ll be the… Distressed Parrot.

Dad: Then I’m just going to have to deal with a distressed parrot then.

RJ: (in very loud parrot voice) Distress! No one’s getting the damsel! Arawwk! Danger Alert! Princess is in distress! Damsel in distress! Emergency! Panic!

(while cooking dinner at Rottnest)

RJ: (grabs a piece of uncooked spaghetti) Hey Dad. (crunch, crunch) What does this sound like? (crunch, crunch, crunch)

Dad: I dunno… Crunching?

RJ: Yes, but crunching what?

Dad: Umm… Crunching sticks? Bones?

RJ: Good… gooooood…

RJ: (grabs nearly-empty packet of uncooked spaghetti) Can I have these bits of pasta?

Dad: Sure thing. What for?

RJ: A secret project…

(5 minutes later while carrying dinner to a friend’s at Rottnest, RJ runs off into a dark alleyway.)

Dad: RJ! Come back!

RJ: (Silence…)

Dad: RJ! This stuff is hot and heavy and I don’t want to drop it. I need you to come back RIGHT NOW.

RJ: (Distant crunching noises… then a sudden explosion of rustling and snapping leaves and twigs) YEAH HAAAHAAHAA! IT WORKS!

RJ: (Excitedly runs around the corner) It works! It works!!!

Dad: What? What works?

RJ: The quokkas are terrified of me! Especially when I run up and make bone crunching noises at them!

RJ: (Triumphant) They think I’m a predator!

This year, just like last year, many of the parents and teachers from the kids’ school head over to Rottnest Island for their school camp. There are various gatherings and get togethers for the kids and parents — it’s generally just a great chance to relax and catch up with everybody. The major events are the Students versus Parents Games, a sandcastle competition, and the “Fox Hunt” — a treasure hunt in and around the main settlement to find teachers (and some parents) dressed up in crazy outfits. This year the theme was fairy tale characters. Mom always gets roped into this.

RJ watches for dolphins on the fast ferry across to Rotto. LR was the first to spot them though!

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