May 29 2013

Lucky find

(walking home from school)

LR: You know, I’ve only ever found one four-leafed clover.

Dad: I remember that one. We were on a road trip, weren’t we.

RJ: Yeah! And I found one too!

(Ahh, the memories of an hour of frustrated searching with him until he found one, just like LR.)

A: You know, I’ve never found one!

Dad: I think the trick is to start by finding a clover patch…

Dad: (looks down) A bit like this one… Then you take a quick look.

(The kids immediately stop to look… and barely five seconds later…)

LR: Hey! I found one!

RJ: Me too!

A: And me!

Dad: Uhhhh… (performs a quick leaf check)
(mind blown) Wow! Well done guys!

Find a four leaf clover? Done. We want a real challenge!

Find a four leaf clover? Done. We want a real challenge!


May 27 2013

Surprise! It’s a sleepover!

LR had some friends over on the weekend for a last-minute sleepover… We expected a lot of noise, but they still managed to exceed expectations with their squealing and shrieking. They even got a little bit of sleep!

Favorite meal? Pasta... and it's even better with friends!

Favorite meal? Pasta… and it’s even better with friends!

Dance party on a bench? Definitely better with friends!

Dance party on a bench? Definitely better with friends!

Surprise birthday cake made by a friend? Waaaaay better with friends.

Surprise birthday cake made by a friend? Waaaaay better with friends!


May 24 2013

Be alert! The world need more lerts.

(overheard)

RJ: I see you, kitty, and I know you’re following me. You’ll never catch me, you know, I’m too good for you.

RJ: … I sleep my with my eyes open and I’m always watching…

RJ: … Always… watching… Cat.

the world through my eyes


May 23 2013

It’s a family affair

(overheard from a neighbouring room)

RJ: Oh Kitty, you are so wonderful. I love you so much… Let’s get married!

RJ: It will be wonderful, you can help run the museum with me. We can have a baby — a half-cat, half-human baby, covered in fur!

RJ: We’ll be married so hard, we can’t ever break up! …  Except if one of us gets eaten by a dragon….

RJ: We’ll have so much money. I’ll buy you a new litter box and a ring and a special suit and everything you could want…. and when I’m king, you can be the Queen of Queensland.

(a pause, then footsteps as he excitedly runs into to the room)

RJ: DAD!!! YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT!!!

RJ: SHE SAID, “YES“!!!

 You know what Flickr? If Zumi could give you the middle finger, she would right now.


May 21 2013

Made the cut

(during one of his more affectionate moments)

RJ: I love you guys so much. You guys are just the best parents ever.

Dad: That’s nice, RJ. We love you too.

RJ: Really! You and Mum and LR… I love you so much. You are totally the most important things in my life…

RJ: … And air, food and water, of course…

RJ: … And maybe Lego…

RJ: …

RJ: Nah. Lego is fun, but I can definitely live without it.

Shrimp Cocktail


May 20 2013

Grumbling about bedtime

(getting ready for bed when there’s a massive double-flash of lightning outside the window)

Dad: That was bright! … but where’s the thunder?

(RJ’s stomach makes a surprisingly loud growling noise.)

Dad: Whoah!

RJ: That wasn’t thunder, Dad. That was just my tummy.

Eclairs


May 17 2013

Practice makes purfect

(before school, LR sits down to practice the piano)

LR plays a few notes, then stops and looks around.

She cautiously plays another few notes, then stops and looks under the piano stool.

Once again, she starts playing, then stops again to look around the room.

Dad: LR! Just get your practice done and stop mucking around!

LR: But Dad!

Dad: Come on. Just get on with it!

LR: (sighs) Okay…

She starts playing the piece smoothly and confidently. It’s familiar and she’s quite good at it. Everything is going well until a grey, blurry streak flies across the room, darts under the piano stool and latches on to her leg. There’s a crash of notes from the piano and LR cries out.

LR: (in pain) OWWW! KITTY!

Apparently, the cat has decided that ambushing people playing the piano is a very fun game. I can’t say that I disagree.

 The piano has been drinking


May 15 2013

Draw your own conclusions

With the start of the school term, RJ is once again on a drawing kick. He has dubbed himself the “Professor of Monsters” and claims to have exhaustive knowledge about any monster you can name, including many you’ve never heard of.

The Finix

It’s tiny. So tiny you can’t even see it, unless you have a super powerful microscope. It lays eggs on your skin and after a few days thousands of spiders burst out. The worst part is after that you then shrink down and become a new Finix.

Some cartoon characters he's been learning to draw from a book.

Some cartoon characters he’s been learning to draw from a book.

The sailors only know about the kraken attacking them... little do they know there's a massive battle raging below.

The sailors only know about the kraken attacking them… little do they know there’s a massive battle raging below.

The lead characters of the amazing new series, Adventure Cheese. The king (on his throne) is intentionally ugly and decrepit.

The lead characters of the amazing new series, Adventure Cheese. The king (on his throne) is intentionally ugly and decrepit.

Keep in mind that RJ hasn’t ever seen XKCD, so this was a bit of a surprise. Every room has a trap and there’s only one safe path to the treasure room. The big problem is that this guy is French, “Bonjour!” and can’t read the warning sign.

If this guy was wise, he wouldn't take any of the entrances... but apparently he's French... and the sign is in English.

If this guy was wise, he wouldn’t take any of the entrances… but apparently he’s French… and the sign is in English.


May 13 2013

Redefining happiness

RJ: (running through the house chasing the cat) Kitty! Here Kitty!

Amber: (frantic scampering) Mew!

Dad: RJ! Leave the cat alone!

RJ: (catches the cat) Cuddle time, Kitty!

Amber: (struggling to escape) Miaow! Miaow!

Dad: RJ! LEAVE THE CAT ALONE! Listen to her! She doesn’t want a cuddle right now!

Amber: (in protest) Miaow! MIAOW! MIAAAAAAOOOOOOWWWWWW!

RJ: (attempting to sooth the cat) It’s okay, Dad! You can’t tell, but she’s really very happy right now. These are just miaows of joy!

sad cat is sad


May 10 2013

Out of sight, out of mind

The rushing around stops for a moment! There’s time for a quick pause, maybe a cup of tea if you’re lucky. Either way, you need to recover some strength for the rest of the day. It’s the weekend and it’s only half way through Saturday. The exhausting engaged parenting, frantic taxi services, team sports, and creativity-expanding activities that fill just about every minute of your time have only just begun.

While the steeping tea quietly releases its regenerative magic, you quickly tidy the breakfast dishes to the distant clatter of the washing machine doing battle with the relentless forces of the Empire of the Laundry Pile. In that brief moment, you notice something you’re not hearing…

RJ… Your son… That concentrated source of entropy and chaos that devours your spare time like a black hole with an eating disorder.

You haven’t heard from him in at least two minutes. The playroom, normally filled with the sounds of industrial excavation through massive Lego deposits, is abnormally silent. The surreal battle cries (“Cheese!“) and random commentary (“You know what’s a really good idea?“) has stopped… and that is almost never a good thing.

Your heart leaps in your chest and you rush around the house and discover him tucked away in the corner of the living room.

RJ is clearly working on a project.

He has found a small aquarium, one that we’ve used in the past for raising frogs, and cup by small, plastic cup, he fills it with filtered water from the fridge. He disappears outside for a few minutes and returns with a few nicely shaped rocks from the garden. He pauses for a moment, heads outside a second time, and returns with a carefully selected decorative piece of wood. After another moment of contemplation he runs off again, dashes back, and a plastic plant is added to one corner. He takes a few minutes to carefully rearrange the items in the tank and eventually satisfied, he picks up the tank, places it in the middle of the room and pulls something from his pocket.

It’s small colourful container…. Relief… It’s just small jar of fish food… He opens it and sprinkles a few flakes into the tank… Waaaaidaminute.

“RJ, what are you doing? Do you have fish in there?”

“Yeah! Do you like them? They’re my newest pets!”

You stare intently into the tank for a moment. The flakes of food quietly bob across the calm surface, enjoying the serenity. You pause, also enjoying the peaceful moment, and watch as they gently float around, thoroughly unmolested by fish or any other small creatures.

“I … I can’t see them.”

“That’s because they’re invisible! Of course you can’t see them!”

“Oh… Oh!!! They’re great! I love them!”

“I know! They are great, aren’t they. They’re super playful!”

(later that day, after his sister gets home)

RJ: Hey LR! Have you seen my new pets?

LR: (wandering over) No! Show me! Did you get them today?

RJ: Yeah! They’re new today.

LR: (looking into the tank) Are they under the rocks?

RJ: No. They’re swimming around… Wait a second… There’s one!

LR: Uhh… What? How big are they? I can’t see them.

RJ: Well, you can’t see them because they’re invisible.

LR: (pauses, skeptically) You have a tank full of… invisible fish.

RJ: Yeah! They’re totally great! Do you want to feed them?

LR: … but … Uhhh…

RJ: (handing over the fish food) Here you go.

LR: … but… (pointing) They haven’t eaten the food that’s in there already.

RJ: I guess they’re not very hungry.

LR: So you have a tank full of invisible fish.

RJ: Yes.

LR: … and you’re feeding them food… That they don’t eat.

RJ: Yes.

LR: … and you can’t actually see them doing anything.

RJ: (subdued) Yes.

LR: … or do anything to them…

RJ: (quietly) Yes.

LR: (exasperated) So what’s the point, RJ? It’s just crazy. CRAZY! Why are you doing this!?!?

RJ: (frustrated) LOOK, LR! If I want to have pet invisible fish, and take care of them and feed them, that’s just fine. If YOU don’t have enough imagination, that’s YOUR problem. Don’t go picking on me because YOU don’t know how to have fun!

LR: (storms off) WHATEVER!

 (No pictures for this story… for obvious reasons.)