Speaking from experience

RJ, on household artillery:

I know what the dumbest weapon in the whole world is.

A toaster.

First, you never know when it will actually go off and shoot. It just pops when it wants to.

Second, if it doesn’t pop up in time, it just smokes and burns and then your whole face is filled with smoke and you’re coughing and it’s just terrible.

Third…

Well…

It mostly just shoots toast. Not many bad guys are scared of toast.

So you can see, a toaster is the worst… weapon… ever!

blue toaster

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  5. Next on the agenda: Toilet Training a Bear

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 8th, 2012 at 11:07 am and is filed under Family, Quotes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “Speaking from experience”

  • Rachel Says:
    February 8th, 2012 at 11:40 am

    The logic is inescapable. Know what else is a rubbish kitchen weapon? A garlic press. Because it’s so small, which means you have to get close up to the enemy to do any damage. And also, what are you going to do? Press a nose?

  • Marcus Says:
    February 8th, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Depends on what you load into it. In the books of the Red Dwarf adaptations, Talkie Toaster fires two razor sharp-edged ashtrays out of himself into the GELF monster.

  • Cristin Says:
    February 8th, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    I don’t know, I’ve had toasters burst into flames. Not that I want to give anyone ideas.

  • Carina Says:
    February 8th, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    Holy crap. You people are scary. You stay away from my son. He does NOT need ideas!!!!

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