Dec 22 2011

Handy hints for exhibitionists

(while getting ready for bed)

RJ: You know that dead hand that we saw today, the real live one at the museum?

Dad: You mean the mummified dead hand?

RJ: Yeah, that one. They wouldn’t have that at the Perth museum.

Dad: Probably not, but what makes you say that?

RJ: They would only have a model. They only ever have models at the Perth museum. They never have real ones of the good things.


Dec 19 2011

Hush your mouth!

(while driving, in France)

Dad: After a long, long day, we’ve finally returned to the quiet streets of Balma!

(giggling erupts from the back seat)

Mom: The farmers’ market is open again tomorrow. We’ll have to stop by and pick a few things up.

Dad: That was on the main street of Balma, right?

(huge amounts of giggling from the back seat)

Dad: I wonder why they called it Balma, anyway?

(peals of uncontrollable laughter burst from the kids)

Dad: What!? What is so funny back there?

LR: Well… RJ says that Balma…

RJ: Aaaaah!! You just said it!

LR: … is a very, VERY rude word in French.

the point of all this

Dec 16 2011

Sharing is a pain

(while eating breakfast)

Mom: RJ, you can’t eat the last half of the baguette by yourself.

RJ: But I’m really hungry!

Dad: RJ! You have to share it.  Take a smaller piece and leave the big piece alone.

RJ: (in a low, growling voice) If it’s on the plate of eating, it will be devoured.

Miniature Food - Breads

Dec 14 2011

School photos!

School photos are in!

RJ has a "super power smile" that he pulls out for photos. We have hundreds of photos just like this.

RJ has a "super power smile" that he pulls out for photos. We have hundreds of photos just like this.

LR, on the other hand, is always calm and in control.

LR, on the other hand, is always calm and in control.

Dec 13 2011

Derz obba jeans, silver plates!

(while eating breakfast)

Dad: So will you be able to help me out with speaking French while we’re over there?

LR: Well, I’m only in French club, Dad. We haven’t really learned the whole language.

Dad: I’m sure there’s something you can help me out with…

LR: (pauses for a moment) Well… if you need to know any numbers or vegetables, then I’m your girl.

best friends

Dec 12 2011

He just needs a tickle

(while playing in the backyard)

RJ: I hear someone, Dad! It’s the neighbour behind the fence! They’re in the backyard.

RJ: (climbs up fence) I can see him and… whoah.

Dad: What?

RJ: (shouting back across yard) He’s the grumpiest man in the whole world! I’ve never seen anyone look so grumpy!

Dad: Well maybe he’s just had a really long day.

RJ: (still shouting) I… I don’t think so… He’s… HE’S LOOKING RIGHT AT ME!

RJ: Dad! I think he’s been like that his whole life! One day, when he was a a kid, he was really grumpy, and then… the wind changed

Not amused

Dec 9 2011

A clean desk is a sign of…

Dad’s desk slowly accretes items that are annoying to put away, or don’t have places to go. Over time the piles grow and grow until they become overwhelming.

Mom’s desk gathers piles of papers and other people’s things for about two weeks at a time, until there is a sudden mass extinction event and everything starts over again.

LR’s desk is never clean, but never terribly messy. There’s usually a mix of things: a couple of different projects that she hasn’t finished yet, and always six or seven books that she’s reading or has recently finished.

RJ’s desk … Well, see for yourself.

"Sometimes I just like to sit down here and get some work done..."

"Sometimes I just like to sit down here and get some work done..."

A skull, an angler fish, several bugs, snakes, scorpions, a pterodactyl, two pairs of vampire teeth, a whistle straw and a mini-cauldron… The perfect environment to get a few things done…

Dec 8 2011

Someone does understand

Dear RJ,

You are not alone.



Mom and Dad

(from XKCD)

Dec 7 2011


Heather: RJ. Why on earth are you wearing a long sleeve shirt on such a hot day?

RJ: Because Dad didn’t tell me what to wear and I just grabbed it!

Heather: You do know its summer, right?

RJ: Yeah, I’ll just blame it on Dad. He is the one who always makes us do the things that are bad for kids to do.

Heather: Like what?

RJ: Well this one time he made me wear a jumper and it wasn’t even winter! I mean… Who does that? That guy just isn’t on the right track.


Dec 6 2011

Traditional logic

(while jumping on the trampoline)

RJ: (bounce, bounce) I don’t believe in Santa, you know.

Dad: Really? Why is that?

RJ: (bounce) Well, there are too many problems with his story.

Dad: Such as?

RJ: (bounce) Well… We don’t even have a chimney in our house. How could he get anything inside?

Dad: Couldn’t he sneak in a window or something?

RJ: (bounce) That’s the other problem! He’s way too fat! He wouldn’t fit and his hat would fall off!

Dad: Fair enough. Then what —

RJ: (bounce) BUT! I do believe in Sinterklaas. He’s the Dutch Santa.

Dad: Really? Why do you believe in him?

RJ: (bounce) Because he has Black Petes to help him out. He is way smaller, and fast. They can sneak in anywhere with the presents. Also, his hat is smaller and round, so it wont fall off so easily.

RJ: (suddenly the bouncing stops) … AND Sinterklaas rides a horse. Who ever heard of a such a thing as a flying reindeer? It’s just so ridiculous!

St. Nicolas has arrived...