Crumpled Home

(RJ sneakily grabs something off the counter and ‘disappears’ it in his lap… for the third or fourth time in a few minutes.)

Dad: RJ! What are you doing?

RJ: Getting ready.

Dad: Getting ready for what? What are you actually doing?

RJ: I’m putting some Cheerios in my pocket.

Dad: Why do you need Cheerios in your pocket?

RJ: In case I get hungry. So I wont be starving.

Dad: I see… Is there a reason you wont be able to get food later?

RJ: Yes. When I’m trapped in jail they wont bring me food.

(over dinner)

RJ: Can I have some more juice?

Dad: Sure, but there’s a new rule.

RJ: What’s that?

Dad: You can’t dip your chips in it any more. No dipping your food in your drink at dinner time.

RJ: That’s not a good rule!

Dad: Why not? No one else needs to dip their dinner in their drink.

RJ: (frustrated) Because… well… Argghh! (dramatically throws up hands) It’s just what I do!!!

…

Mum: You can still dip the carrot sticks if you want.

Mum and the kids spent a few days down south. Dad caught up with them over the weekend. We had all sorts of animal visitors to the house: a couple of bandicoots, parrots, cockatoos, galahs, king skinks and even a blue-tongue lizard! LR started each day with riding lessons while RJ spent the mornings exploring.

LR had several riding lessons.

She's getting very good. On the last day we were there, she led everyone back to the stable!

LR gives Seeaney a thank-you carrot.

RJ spent some the time herding snails with a stick. He gets to ride next year!

It's not a rat! A young bandicoot stopped by for a snack.

Mum and LR spotted some fossils while on a walk.

You just can't leave the house without finding them.

While Mum and the kids were off having a great time down south, I was left slaving away at the daily grind. One night, after picking up some dinner in one of my old haunts, I was surprised to find myself surrounded by hordes of undead. Looks like the neighbourhood has gone downhill since we used to live there.

The One that Isn't Ready Yet

The One that Needs a Hand

The One with a Musical Bent

The One that Needs a Hug

The One that I Saw

The One with a Famous Relative

(while on a walk with Mum, Dad, RJ and LR after Mum and LR had discovered their own fossils)

RJ: (spotting a fossil from Dad’s shoulders) There’s one daddy!

Dad: Where? Oh there! Nice one!

RJ: Let’s show mum.

Dad: Okay… Hey Mum, look what RJ found!

Mum: Wow, RJ! That’s a great one! That’s a really good find!

RJ: Yeah well, I’m just doing the best I can.

We took a trip out to the Gingin Gravity Discovery Centre. The highlight was the 11 story leaning tower where you can drop water balloons into an incredibly cratered sand pit below. There are lots of other science experiments to explore too. We followed up with a night walk to spot some of the local nocturnal animals. We ended the night looking through telescopes at some of the features of the night sky. Great fun!

RJ looks deep into the black hole simulator.

No Mum! Kids don't go down there! They'll be spaghettified!

LR and Dad push the Bernoulli Principle to its limits.

The mums get the exciting job of filling a bucket full of water balloons.

It's a very, very long way down -- about 11 flights of stairs.

The kids begin the onslaught. Balloon after balloon is dropped onto the zone of destruction below.

E gets a closer look at a butterfly's wings.

LR gets a microscopic view of another specimen.

The face of sadness... E won something in the raffle. LR did not. Life is just so very unfair.

RJ agreed with LR... It is SO unfair... or maybe it's just way past their bedtimes...

We all went out with flashlights on a night stalk to spot animals.

The Leaning Tower of Gingin teeters towards one of the domes housing the big telescopes.

RJ’s been playing around with words and sounds a lot for a while now. He’s continually inventing new words, objects, definitions and almost always remembers them weeks after he’s coined the new term or phrase.

For example, last weekend, he introduced us to the “sapple”. It looks just like a normal apple, but it’s tangy and a bit sour.

Much to our chagrin, he’s also been making a lot of poop jokes. We always react negatively — for these, he gets warnings, or sent from the dinner table. He’s aware that we don’t appreciate them. This morning, however, he had me laughing over this one.

RJ: Daddy, do you know about… Poopiter?

Dad: RJ. You know we don’t like poop jokes.

RJ: It’s not a poop joke. It’s Poopiter. It’s a moon around Jupiter.

Dad: I hadn’t heard about it, no.

RJ: It’s big and very icy. The whole place is ice.

Dad: Really? The whole place is frozen?

RJ: Yes. But if you smash really hard, you can get to the water underneath the ice.

Dad: Wow. So you have to be a bit careful not to smash through and fall in?

RJ: The ice is very thick, but you have to be a bit careful. It has rings too, like Saturn. They are lots of different colours. First there’s red, then it mixes into yellow and the yellow mixes into blue.

Dad: You know a lot about this place. Why is it called Poopiter?

RJ: Because the water under the ice is brown and it smells bad.

Welcome to... Poopiter.

Every year, we head off to the Perth Royal Show to see the animals, ride some rides, watch some wood chopping, cheer on the sheep dogs, and of course, pick up a couple of showbags. If you haven’t been, it’s just like a state fair in the US, but perhaps a little smaller with fewer crazy rides. It’s great fun, and we haven’t missed it yet.

RJ challenged one of the Australian Defense Force underwater operations specialists to a game of tic-tac-toe.

LR got her hands on some very cute chicks.

"Whoah. This came from one really big chicken."

LR cuddled this guinea pig for nearly half an hour. RJ discovered that it loved carrots.

RJ's uneaten sandwich had the undivided attention of this Australian Shepherd.

Mum and LR queue up to buy some tickets for the rides.

LR makes some waves in the bumper boats.

"Hey! Look out! You're going to *BUMP* ... crash into me!"

RJ and LR take a wild ride on the kids' roller coaster.

RJ shows off his fantastic new hat from his Backyardigans Showbag.

LR gets to work right away with her new paper and pens from her showbag!

LR jumps on Mum's back for a fast getaway! That's all until next year's show!

(over breakfast)

RJ: The doctor chopped my head off one day. Want to know why?

Dad: Sure. Why’d he do that?

RJ: I was bumping into everything and falling over too much. They chopped it off so they could look at my brain.

Dad: Was everything okay in there?

RJ: No. They had to put in a new one. I don’t bump into things now…

RJ: … It’s also better at remembering to put shoes on when I go outside and watching out for snakes.

Am: You can come home with me. You’ll be my slave.

LR: (exclaiming in dismay) I can’t be your slave! I’m not your kid!